I am ****ing pathetic... not that any of you care...

[Ace24]

I suck so badly at life. I lie to the ones I love, I dont know why I lied to holly... I dont know why I ****ed up so bad... and I cant live with what I did... I want to make it better, but I cant... I can never see her face again... or her parents... or anyone she knowes... I not ever going to do this again... I'm not going to let this happen again... and thats the reason why I am done with relationships... period... I love her so much... yet I hurt her so bad... I dont want anyone to experience that... I dont deserve anyone...



I cant stop crying, and the knowlege of the pain I caused her is whats keeping it going... Never start lieing... because once you start, you cant stop... and it starts becomming a part of you.... you dont even realise your donig it unitll too late.

I am so pathetic... and such a sorry excuse for a man.... I hate what I have become... I honestly just wish I was never born...

I guess we werent meant to be, and if we were, then I completely ****ed up the chances of us ever being what we could have been for possibly much longer... 10 months and I completely ****ing throw it away...

I've stoped crying now... no more tears come out... yet the pain presists.. same as the pain that I can feel that is in Holly right now... I can feel her pain, and its eating me away...

My vision is blurry now... and my eyes red with agony... yet I dont care.... all I care about is how shes going to move on, hating men even more because of me... how I ****ed up the last 10 months of her life...

I am still in love with her... but it doesnt matter... I'm never going to see her again...

I promised I wouldnt do anything to myself... but its times like this where I wish someone would do something to me... someone to end my life... so that I may never hurt anyone ever again...

I'm so lost... I dont care about myself anymore... all I care about is others feelings... and the knowlege that Holly is in pain at this very moment... makes me sick... and its because of me...

[timmyshoota]

I dunno what you did, so its hard to give you advice, so I'll just give you some generic advice.

You're 17. There's a whollllllllle lot of your life to live. If what you had is truely over with, with no chance of reconciliation, then move on. You live and you learn. If you keep dwelling on it, you will never move on. I'm not saying forget about her completely right this minute, but don't let it take over your life. I'd give more advice, but I'll let someone else give some too.

[Ace24]

Everyone I love ends up ****ing me over... or I **** them over... my ex before this one... used me for sex and sex only... and she told me at the end of our relationship that, and that she cheated on me with this guy, and how she didnt tell me because she liked the sex so much... (sorry for the graphic laungauge...)

It seems like all my relationships are falures...

[DRAGON]

Jesus Christ, hate to sound like a hard ass but I lost a woman I thought I trusted for 25 years, my kids, my house, every ****ing thing I worked for my whole ****ing life, all gone within a few ****ing months **POOF!!!!!** Am I crying, did I cry, am I sitting around wishing someone would kill me, am I sitting around feeling sorry for myself(well, maybe a little lol)? **** NO! All I did was start over. That's what you do in life......you fall down, get up off your feeling sorry for yourself ass and continue in another direction. Is your situation even 1% comparable to what I've recently gone through? I don't think so. Quit crying and be a man and move on with your life. You'll prolly look back at this in a few years and laugh about it. Spilt milk my friend. Learn by your mistakes and sometimes you will just need to harden your heart to love. What's that song? "I am a rock, I am am an island......a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries" -

[UKwithPride]

You'll get over it in about 2-3 weeks. Just don't cut yourself, and it's ok to cry. Seriously

[Ace24]

I'm not going to cut myself... I cant stand when kids resort to that... its rediculous. If I wanted to kill myself I wouldnt do it slowly, I would just kill myself.

Wich is another thing that I'm not going to do...

Well I guess one way to look at this is... I can spend ALL my money on paintball now...

(trying to think positive) and I have a female friend whom I spent the evening with a tuesday... whom comforted me... so I guess there is hope... its just so hard... I cant even compare this to what you went through Dragon. I am so sorry to hear that too. But you ahve to cry at times... especially ones that hurt the most... or you hold the pain inside and it never releases, eating away at you for the rest of your life...

I'm so sorry to post this, I just needed some people to talk to, if it is flaming or not that I receive.

[DRAGON]

Originally Posted by Ace24

..........But you ahve to cry at times... especially ones that hurt the most... or you hold the pain inside and it never releases, eating away at you for the rest of your life...

I'm so sorry to post this, I just needed some people to talk to, if it is flaming or not that I receive.

Never mentioned never feeling pain. The first couple times ya. After that it was just kinda numbing the feelings. I can't really remember the last time I cried. It all boils down to a gradual purge, not particularly holding it inside. If you cry, is the pain gone afterwards? Nope, it's still there and when you think about it again you cry some more right? Eating away lol? If you let it I suppose. Some of us are just a bit more sensitive than others. Hope you didn't take my post as flaming. It was more meant as a 'snap outta it and move on' thing -

BTW, where can I get one of those secks abusers? I'd like to make an order lol -

[albertjackson99]

Not to sound brash, but cowboy up brotha. Whatever you messed up - Own up to it. Learn your lesson and press on with livin. The people that truly care about you will be there for you, the ones that don't won't.

Oo another note, What's with all the graphic language? This USED to be a family forum...I think the moderators are getting a little too comfy in the penthouse!

[Theheroguy]

man just get by and stick it through we have all felt like the world should end but you'll feel better

also most people who cut themselves are the ones least likely to intentionally kill themselves

[.21'[~tw!tch*]

Wow. Um. Well Props To Dragon For Being the Pro.
I woulda Made it But Idk How I would be after.

My heart break(one Of em) small But It was A couple Life lessons In one gurl.
Yeah She was A Nypho. The bad part about it was that She Was Pregnant and Got an Abortion with this other dudes Twins. On eof mY "Friends"
So After a lil I started to do some math and the time that they had sex didnt add Upp to be the twins. They went and had an Abortion done without me knowing, Well I firgured Out thet they were mine.
That hurt pretty bad. Mostly cuz Wow those were my kids and It was all done behind my back.
I had No idea About any of it until 2 months later.

Cry, Sure I cry over dumb little things, I don't let noone see but I do I wont lie to you guys.
But I got over it real fast. Real fast. I couldn't afford too I had **** to do.'
I guess it's advice? naw Just relatin.

.;p3ace:.