Some lil help with grammar

[mv540]

oh thx mn....you dont have msn???

[xtraking]

Originally Posted by mv540

I

Many people act to where they are remembered by everyone.
All of one's life, one is surrounded by people, like family, friends, etc.
It does not matter what that person does, it will always be remembered; it doesn’t matter if it was bad or good, funny or risky, no matter what, it will mark the way other people see you and how they will remember you.

There are those who care and those who do not care about what they do in life. Those who commit good deeds, in some cases, will be rememberedby everyday people. In addition, there are some people that say; one must do three things to be remembered in a special way: Have kids, write a book, and sow a tree. What the hlel are you trying to say here?

I'd like to think that all the people I know will remember me as a person who always puts forth my best effort, a man that puts my family before myself, a person that strived to reach my goals, and no matter what goals he proposed, he always reached them. In addition, I would desire to be remembered as a first-rate athlete, healthy man, a big and proud champion. Furthermore, the two most important things for me to remembered as would be a loving and caring dad, and a professional paintball player.

Theres first half, i didnt really go editing crazy but i changed some tensese of verbs( you want the same tense to flow throughout the essay) It seems choppy with your paragraphs but didn not want to interrupt your ideas. Also, with the use of 1st person, ONLY, and i repeat, only use it when you are assigned an essay where you ahve to talk about yourself.

More editing to come.

[phatphil]

Originally Posted by mv540

I have to write an essay

..

[xtraking]

i pm'd you, and yeah try and use spell check please, type it on word not on here ( im assuming you typed it here). Also, re read it out loud to yourself and get soemone else to read it out loud to you, you will find many mistakes by doing this.

[mv540]

hahaha no!!1 I take my time, and i wrote it in word lol...damn I suck!!, and just 1 year and I examine myself of Toefl and SAT lol

[bigred76]

My MSN name is "armed_future@hotmail.com" Hit me up if you still need help. And Dave, he's writing it in first person because that is what it requires. When an essay question singles you out, you write your response in first person. Otherwise it's the 3rd.

[xtraking]

Originally Posted by bigred76

My MSN name is "armed_future@hotmail.com" Hit me up if you still need help. And Dave, he's writing it in first person because that is what it requires. When an essay question singles you out, you write your response in first person. Otherwise it's the 3rd.

oh i know that tim. I said that in a post or two above this. But what im saying it shouldnt be in first person the whole essay. The technique is writing about one sohuld do, or does, and then you can start a new paragraph talking aobut you. If that maeks sense, im just dead.

[mv540]

Originally Posted by phatphil

..write

hahah, damn...that was......oh crap, I have to focus more

[bigred76]

Originally Posted by xtraking

oh i know that tim. I said that in a post or two above this. But what im saying it shouldnt be in first person the whole essay. The technique is writing about one sohuld do, or does, and then you can start a new paragraph talking aobut you. If that maeks sense, im just dead.

Um... what?