Chuck Norris

[Paradox313]

One of my buddies said this:

Chuck Norries can kill two rocks with one bird.

For the record Chuck Norries jokes are getting kind of old. It was funny for the first few weeks, but now it's just annoying.

[kramernator]

no, they are still pretty funny

[Paradox313]

Originally Posted by kramernator

no, they are still pretty funny

Okay, then repeatedly quote them non-stop for at least a week. It'll get old REALLY fast.

[vikingshadow]

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris called me today and told me that if anyone posts these lame jokes about him on this site, he would personally come and roundhouse kick them. I'm in hiding right now...

[DFSniper]

lol vike. my best friend's mom's best friend from high school is married to chuck norris. dead serious, no dodgy.


to mix things up:
vin diesel doesn't shave his head, hair is just too afraid to grow on him.

[vikingshadow]

In all seriousness, I've actually met Chuck Norris and shook his hand and got to talk with him a bit.

Back in the 80's when I was in college, I had just started taking Tae Kwon Do classes. My instructor (a sociology professor at the university I attended) had grown up in the same area as where Chuck Norris lived and personally knew him for many years. For some reason, this professor knew a lot of famous people - he never would say how, though!

Now, back then, there was a big national tournament that was held in OKC every year (I think it was - may have been Tulsa, but it was in the state), and Chuck Norris was invited to be there. We were in the middle of class and surprise! We see this large convoy of vehicles pull up outside our building and in walks Chuch Norris with about 8 more people in his entourage! Apparently, he had decided to swing on over to our town and surprise our instructor (and my class) and visit with the instructor a bit.

The cool thing was that he picked several of the top students in the class to go and sit with him as "body guards" (so they could get in with his party) at the tournament. Unfortunately, I didn't get to go because, well, I wasn't one of the best students in the class. But, he's a really nice person in real life! (At least back then he was...)

We got an autograph picture of him, and the dojo got one (we hung it over the toilet paper roll in the bathroom, har har!) I lost mine though, somewhere over the past several years. I'll have to try and find it.

[TheDarkShadow]

Originally Posted by vikingshadow

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

False.

Chuck Norris doesn't use condoms because there is no protection from Chuck Norris

[battlechaser]

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.

Y'know... I really would like to know how Chuck actually feels about these jokes... personally I'd love them..

Also, there's a book of these out as well... can't remember the name of it though, got it for a friend on her b-day.

[Paradox313]

"The Truth About Chuck Norris, 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human"]

Yes I own it.

[LostCause]

Chuck Norris is a really good christian. though some of his jokes are good.

Though dead baby jokes will always be epic :nododgy: and get old the fastest, there so nasty but you still laugh....no clue why