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TheRedBarron
01-20-2006, 05:54 PM
I was going to breakfast this morning to meet up with a teammate of mine to talk about our teams goals and schedule for next season. The guy I was to meet is my most trusted teammate and is fills in for me as captain of the team if I am not present at the event. Well, I got there and he had not yet showed up, this made me think a little bit because he is usually extremely punctual. I waited for about an hour and finally called his cell, he didn’t answer, I called his home phone still no answer. I then went home, and since he lives on my way back to my house I stopped by to see if he was there, sure enough his car was in the yard so I knocked on the door still no answer. I then proceeded to enter the house (the door was unlocked, which isn’t uncommon in Maine.) I yelled as I entered to see if he was with someone and I wouldn’t want to interrupt, no answer, no noises, I walk through the house looking for him because at this point I am getting very worried. I walk into his bedroom to see him laying on his bed very pale looking very sick. I shake him to wake him and nothing, then it hit me, he wasn’t breathing, I checked his pulse and then I called 911.

Calvin passed away early this morning, he was 20 years old and was an active member of my team. Before he started with me he came to my open tryouts, something stood out about him, he was an excellent player and seemed to be an excellent personality. At the end of the tryout I gave my normal spiel…”no drugs, no underage drinking, no public drinking…etc.” he approached me explaining that he smoked marijuana regularly but loves paintball enough that he is willing to give it up. This was 2 years ago and I know for a fact that he has not lit up since then. Paintball changed his life, shortly after he made the team he enrolled in college and really turned his life around. He became my best friend and could have lit up a room with his smile. The cause of death is still unknown.

I cried today for the first time since I was around 10. This whole ordeal suddenly made me realize how fragile our lives are, it also made me grateful for what I have, not just the material possessions, but my family, I have a loving wife, and 2 beautiful daughters. I am not looking for your sympathy as I do not believe that I am the one that deserves it, Calvin didn’t have any family as far as I know, I did call his girlfriend and she is going to take care of everything with my backing. I just want each and everyone of you to do me a favor. (I hate to get all mushy but…) Before you go to bed tonight tell your family members that you love them, you may have your differences but you just never know…

TL;DR? read it.

ttink
01-20-2006, 06:00 PM
Wow, what a terrible experience. Sorry for you and everyone else close to Calvin.

shunut
01-20-2006, 06:01 PM
Wow, that is awful. I'm sorry you lost a friend and sorry that he died at such a young age. I've had friends very close to me die before and there really is nothing anybody can do or say to make you feel better. That just sucks, I don't even know what more to say.

Nader
01-20-2006, 06:01 PM
Well, not gonna say much, kinda shocked.....but I totally agree with you about how fragile life is..and that I'm sorry for your loss...

TheRedBarron
01-20-2006, 06:08 PM
Thank you guys, and after reading through this I apologize for the disgruntled thoughts and the lack of sentence organization, I wrote that early today when I needed to vent...

paintmaster
01-20-2006, 06:12 PM
wow thats pretty sad.

Drefish99
01-20-2006, 06:15 PM
Dude my condolences to the family and to all that know Calvin. I can't imagine what you are going through and what you have to face in the next few days, months, and years. Always keep your head up and remember the good times you had with him and remember all should remember that our lives here are so short and can be taken so quickly. Regards to all.

bigred76
01-20-2006, 06:16 PM
Thank you guys, and after reading through this I apologize for the disgruntled thoughts and the lack of sentence organization, I wrote that early today when I needed to vent...
It was perfectly legible to me...You guys are in my prayers, sympathy wanted or not. ;)

covert24
01-20-2006, 06:20 PM
its good that u vented.. its important to let ur feelings out and not keep them held up inside u. but man..im so sry about wut u went through. i recently lost someone in my family and yes i cried for a while. but again im really sry for you and god bless everyone that was close to him.

03TiburonGT
01-20-2006, 06:20 PM
In my prayers. I am proud to know you for helping turning his life around and helping him become something. I'm sorry for your loss and all of those who knew Calvin.

I completely agree that our lives are fragile and that we must treat each other the best we can.

paintmaster
01-20-2006, 06:27 PM
well have faith in God. He always gets me through my problems and by the way ur in my prayers.

DRAGON
01-20-2006, 06:52 PM
Sry to hear about your chrony Baron. A bit traumatic to be so close and you were the one that found him first. What's worse is the age factor. I lost a lot of my friends when I was younger and living in Detroit. Drugs, car crashes, shootings, stabbings, stranglings, and the list goes on. At one point I just couldn't take it any more and stopped going to funerals alltogether. I even had a couple of close brushes with death myself. Once given my last rights at the hospital. I did learn at an early age about what you spoke of.....posessions and wealth cannot replace love, family and human bonds. Hopefully you'll get through this OK and is just a lesson in life to live each day to the fullest. You're a lucky man, your family is a treasure -

TheRedBarron
01-20-2006, 07:11 PM
Thank you for the prayers and the thoughts guys, it really does mean a lot. I just got done talking to his girlfriend and she informed me that the only family members that he really has live in Texas so I plan on sending them some plane tickets so they can come here Monday when the services will be held. I feel like I am still in shock, I keep thinking through the whole ordeal in my head and every time it just seems like a bad dream I suppose Monday it will really hit me hard.

vikingshadow
01-20-2006, 07:23 PM
Wow! It's always a shame when someone with his whole life in front of him passes, but it's especially painful when you know that person so well...

My thoughts and prayers to you, hang in there!

geeZus
01-20-2006, 07:30 PM
Thank you guys, and after reading through this I apologize for the disgruntled thoughts and the lack of sentence organization, I wrote that early today when I needed to vent...
You did better than you've ever done before, seriously.



I <3 you.

QAZ123
01-20-2006, 07:32 PM
My condolences man sorry to hear what you had to go through that has to be hard! My heart goes out to you and the girlfriend!

JB.

DyNasty9
01-20-2006, 07:46 PM
wow red im really sorry,i kinda know how you feel, ive gone to two funerals in the past week one for my great grandma and one for an aunt. it just plain sucks. It does make you relize how much you care about people and that you should always tell them how you feel. once agian really sorry red.

WhatThaSmurf
01-20-2006, 07:50 PM
Matt, you made me think, and I thank you for that. I remembered what I still have and what I have lost, and remember the good times I had with those that are gone. Finding out that a good friend died is an overwhelming experience, I can not even begin to imagine what it must be like to be the first to know. The thing that can hurt the worst is not knowing why. Last year, a friend of mine committed suicide at the age of 15, nobody saw it coming and still nobody knows why he did it. You say you do not want any sympathy, yet sympathy is just a little something that shows you that people care about you. The last thing I wanted last year was sympathy, but after about a week, I starting letting people tell me how sorry they are. I figured out that it did help me, with the help of my now ex girlfriend, and now all I remember are good times. So receive the sympathies of your friends and neighbors, both on here and at home, for just knowing that one more person cares can help a whole lot.

DFSniper
01-21-2006, 12:19 PM
wow, just wow! is it just me or does it seem that theres a lot of things in the world that have just been going wrong in the past couple of years... the tsunami, hurricanes, my friend had no internet for 3 months and then finds out that one friend who kept emailing him about contemplating suicide actually did it and another friend of his is paralyzed from a car accident, the 2 kids that died in the car accident, and now this...

DJ Katt RMX
01-22-2006, 08:34 AM
not much else to say about this, i mean you being the first one to see him and the fact you held him while he was not..well... alive.. if he had prescription medication for anxiety or somthing, he may have overdosed or somthing. somthing really similar to what i just said happened to my coworkers brother a couple weeks ago, it was sickening.
it prolly sounds farfetched, but his brain exploded in his skull. he was fine like an hour before it happened, too. just finished putting his son to sleep and he went downstairs took a nap on the couch, and never woke up.
sounds like you're going to be missing a good sport, something paintball should have a little bit more of.

Ares
01-22-2006, 09:58 AM
i'm sorry for you loss, i too know what it feels like to lose a friend. God must have have been a baller short for a very important tourney and needed his help.

leed
01-22-2006, 10:16 AM
Wow red, I'm sorry man. I can see that it was pretty disasterous, and I hope things get better for you all.

There's always a reason for things, it's just we never know why. And as I am a Yin and Yang type of person, there will be something to make it up.

Feel better Matt,
-DZYL

xtraking
01-22-2006, 03:36 PM
Man hearing about a death is never good to hear. Ill be prayin for you bro. Seems like alot of family oriented problems have been happening latley :(

Sac
01-22-2006, 04:39 PM
matt if you need to talk you know how to get me man.

sorry to hear about your friend, i hope all is well with everything else, just keep ballin for him.

~shocktheman~
01-23-2006, 05:39 AM
Sorry to hear 'bout what happened especially after totally turning his life around. I lost a friend within the past year too, it just seems so odd when you lose someone that young. Life really is more fragile than ever occurs to us. Be praying for ya'

TheRedBarron
01-24-2006, 01:22 PM
Well the funeral was yesterday, I feel alot better today. Our team has a tourney this coming weekend so we made some "CTFMF" armbands in memory of him.

His nickname was Calvin the facemower (CTFM was on his jersey) CTFMF= Calvin the facemower forever.

WhatThaSmurf
01-24-2006, 01:25 PM
That's really great that you guys honored him. I'm sure he will watch over you guys on the field and off for as long as you live.

Sac
01-26-2006, 10:11 AM
shoot some fools for him man.

shunut
01-26-2006, 10:41 AM
Put a chair out for him, with his jersey sitting on it, if you have or can get his jersey. I'd also ask if when announcing your first game if they will ask for a moment of silence in his memory. Just some ideas.

Have they figured out what happened yet?

DFSniper
01-26-2006, 10:45 AM
:yeahthat: those are good ideas!