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View Full Version : Sometimes my job is so much fun! (Long, funny story!)


vikingshadow
02-09-2007, 01:13 PM
To start off with, work has been incredibly stressful for awhile. Some of you may have noticed a lack of posting from me, not that I haven't been here, but that I didn't have the time to post.

Anyway, today I decided not to be stressed. We've had a ton of kids missing due to flu and such, and I decided we were having a catch-up day to allow the kids time to work and, well, catch up!

All was well, but there was one student, notorious for being a big ol' butt, who was DYING to cause problems, and I just wouldn't fall into the trap. So, about 20 minutes before class let out, he came up to me and said, "What's a **** (I hope this gets filtered, but to make this understandable, it rhymes with 'punt'!)?""

Now, this kid knows full well what that word means - hell, he knows more than most adults in this respect! I could see it in his face, and he was just daring me to do something. Ok, to be honest, the teacher/adult in me was appauled he was stupid enough to say that, but the smart ass in me wouldn't let it go....

So, with 20 11-12 year-olds watching with open mouths, I replied casually, "That's an interesting word with a GREAT history. Why do you want to know?"

So, he smiles smugly and smarts back, "My 18 year-old brother told me to ask my teacher what it meant."

I could see EXACTLY what he was trying to do, but I wasn't going to fall for it so like I said, the smart ass in me came back with, "Why [insert name of student here] that's short for country! When people are in a hurry, they like to shorten words, like on the internet. Lots of people say, 'We're going to the **** for the weekend!' and that's what that means."

This kid's mouth literally DROPPED OPEN! While he was standing at my desk stuttering because I threw him off base (and that he's not smart enough to figure out that I lied to him) the other kids start saying, "Is that true?" and "I've never heard that!" and "Why do they do that?" Even the kids that knew what that meant were taken aback a bit, because suddenly they were confused on what they THOUGHT they knew was the answer.

Now, teacher's like to call this a "teachable moment." And boy, did I teach - erhm, lie! I had the student sit down and said, "You know, we've been studying eponyms this week, and this is an actual eponym that people don't usually know. If you remember, eponyms are words that come from people and places, like tuxedo and sardines. This word came from a small tribe of Swiss that live in the Alps that are called that, but they are so few they're about to be extinct. Because of this, the word is disappearing into history."

This whole time, I'm thinking that I'm going to get so many phone calls from parents and that I'm going to be in so much trouble, but my big mouth couldn't stop!

Anyway, I went on, "You know, I'm pretty sure that [insert stupid kid's name here] brother knows the answer to this question, but probably couldn't answer it completely, so I'm sending a note to [insert name of stupid student here] mother and tell her what a WONDERFUL question [insert stupid kid's name here] asked!" I said all this while I was writing on a piece of paper....

Well! This kid was just shattered; he had NO idea what to say. The other kids were waiting, some were snickering because they KNEW I had his number and they were just waiting for it (I had gotten them on things before, too.) But even more hilarious was that now the kid wasn't even sure he knew what the meaning of the word was.

So he looks at me and stammers, "That's ok, I don't really need to know now. I think you did a great job!"

Well, inside I was smirking, but not to let up on this kid, I pulled out my cell phone and told him, "I think I can call her and tell her what an improvement you've made this week and tell her about this great question!"

This kid was nearly in tears. He said really quietly, "Please don't call her! I don't want to get in trouble."

So I get real quiet, and get that mean teacher look on my face and lean over to him, handed him the note I had written and said, "Then take this discipline referral to the office and don't you EVER test me again!"

As he walked out of the room, head down, I turned to the class and asked, "Anyone else have a question like that they need answered?"

The room was dead quiet and then one boy said, "[insert stupid kid's name] just got TOLD!"

Now, I know he was just a 12 year-old, but sometimes it feels good to turn it back on a student that's been turning it on to his teachers all year! Forgive me, teaching professionals, but that's how it is!

***************

Edit - well, I just came back from the office where I was told that a parent actually had called about the incident, and told them that it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard! But I was told, in between laughs, that I should just write it up and send them to the office next time, even if it's to prove a point!

So yes, boys and girls, sometimes teaching isn't always Reading, Writing and Aritmetic, but life lessons as well!

Backmanshooter
02-09-2007, 01:19 PM
What is a [insert word that rhymes with punt]? :dodgy:

That was funny. I assume you teach about 6th grade?

Maxx-Damage
02-09-2007, 01:37 PM
im guessing 7th grade..

Thats funny, i dont care who u are thats funny. Hmm i might have to try that with a few of my teachers...not.

Backmanshooter
02-09-2007, 01:38 PM
In 8th grade, my friend did a presentation on "dreams" like sleeping dreams. I asked about Wet dreams.

Twas a funny day.

Last year in english, I told my teacher I wanted to be naked. He asked me if I needed to leave the classroom. Twas another funny day.

tater_salad
02-09-2007, 02:47 PM
The teachers at my school are pretty cool about that kind of stuff. They just laugh and go on with whatever they were doing. But you don't really want to push them too far(Learned that the hard way).

marvin-martian
02-09-2007, 03:15 PM
he teachers 5th grade english. im going to start this epic tale right now...

Backmanshooter
02-09-2007, 03:22 PM
Theres 12 yr olds in 5th grade? I was 10 when I entered 5th grade.

marvin-martian
02-09-2007, 03:41 PM
eh, just saw that. he at least used to teach 5th, but he might have changed?

vikingshadow
02-09-2007, 03:47 PM
I teach 5th grade - Most 5th graders are 10 going on 11. I have students that are 10-12 years old. This particular class (I teach 3 different groups of students) has more 11-12 year olds than normal - a good 60 percent or more.

Shoot, I even had a 12.5 year old student once! Of course, he spent most of his time in ISD (in school detention) and last I heard, he's dropped out, or got arrested or something like that...

Backmanshooter
02-09-2007, 03:48 PM
Hahaha. I love how you said "12.5 yrs old" like a little kid would.

Thanks for making my night. :p

marvin-martian
02-09-2007, 03:50 PM
omg, i actually read it and it was HILARIOUS. i cracked up and the kid going "please dont tell my mom, i dont want to get in trouble"

but this is also a high risk situation. if you hadnt ended it the way you did, you could have had your class start using it and having you get in trouble for it.

Backmanshooter
02-09-2007, 03:52 PM
I wanna take a trip to a "****" in africa. :dodgy:

BrianT
02-09-2007, 04:42 PM
thats really funny. way to put that kid in his place

vwjimmy
02-09-2007, 07:04 PM
Nice story Vike :)
When I read it, it reminded me of some 'not so proud of behavior' of my own in the fifth grade (nothing so nasty though). I remember it because that teacher (Mr. Scott) got the best of me too!
You know, after 17 years of school, I still consider Mr. Scott the best teacher I ever had.

vikingshadow
02-10-2007, 04:20 AM
Nice story Vike :)
When I read it, it reminded me of some 'not so proud of behavior' of my own in the fifth grade (nothing so nasty though). I remember it because that teacher (Mr. Scott) got the best of me too!
You know, after 17 years of school, I still consider Mr. Scott the best teacher I ever had.

Thank you!

I actually laughed when I read that. I was the butt-head kid in my 5th grade class. The only boy in a class of 20. Being 10-11 years-old around girls is hard enough, but being the only boy was devastating! I didn't actually pull a stunt like this one, but I had a few. Of course, I tell my students that's how I catch them so easily - that anything they do has already been done, by me!

omg, i actually read it and it was HILARIOUS. i cracked up and the kid going "please dont tell my mom, i dont want to get in trouble"

but this is also a high risk situation. if you hadnt ended it the way you did, you could have had your class start using it and having you get in trouble for it.

Yeah, you're right. It was VERY risky. One thing I had going for me was that he made a spectacle out of asking me this question where everyone heard it. I wouldn't have DREAMED doing what I did if he hadn't done what he'd done. Since the word was out there already, I turned it into a "life-lesson" (I hope!) What I really hope is that he never pulls a stunt like that again - he needs to know that teacher's aren't stupid and we can think on our feet pretty quickly!

However, to make this correct, I made sure after he left that I turned back into a teacher and told my class that there was actually another meaning to the word that was very inappropriate and they weren't to ever use that word in school. EVER! Oh, I also explained that I may have made some of that other definition up! ;) I just didn't add that to the story because it's kind of boring...and it wasn't the funny conclusion that I wanted!

DFSniper
02-10-2007, 04:28 AM
go vike! if i had Dre's mad props, i'd give em to ya!

Backmanshooter
02-10-2007, 05:48 AM
Hahah.

Good job, Vike. As long as you made sure they wouldnt use it due to it being an innapropriate word, then you did well. :waytogo:

TheRedBarron
02-10-2007, 09:28 AM
go vike! if i had Dre's mad props, i'd give em to ya!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/xxximyourfatexxx/madpropscopy-2.jpg

Mine is better. (TY leed)

Backmanshooter
02-10-2007, 09:30 AM
Hahah.

Nice picture thingy majig.

Sandman_Bravo
02-10-2007, 09:40 AM
Go Vike, oohrah!