The Guide To Google

[bigred76]

Well, I was surfing PBN and found an interesting guide. Made me crack up, of course, but I realized after reading it that some people might just need it. Without further ado:

This is a quick and easy guide to searching the internet for things you want by using GOOGLE. Google is a search engine, that searches the whole internet based on your keywords typed in. Continue on to learn more!

Step 1: Get ready to use your mouse! This is a hard one!

Step 2: zOMG USE YOUR MOUSE! Open up your "Internet Browser!" [This is my favorite part]

Step 3: Oh nose! You have to use your mouse again, hopefully you haven't forgotten how to do so.

Step 4: Use the left-mouse button to click in the address bar

Step 5: OK, now take a deep breath, this next step is a little bit difficult, just stay calm, you'll be O.K.

Step 6: Place your hands on your keyboard! Make sure your fingers are lined up correctly with the little bumps on your keyboard telling you that your fingers are in the right spots.

Step 7: By pressing the correct keys (they have the letters printed on them, usually, enter in the following in your address bar:
"HTTP://WWW.GOOGLE.COM/"

Step 8: Alright, mouse again! Get used to it, you're going to have to use this one a lot.

Step 9: Drag the mouse (on the screen, just so you don't get confused) and click on the "GO" butotn, sometimes represented by a Triangle pointing right.

Step 10: Sit back, relax, this is the easy part, just wait for the Google Page to load.

Step 11: Check every few minutes to see if it has loaded yet.

Step 12: Get your mouse out!

Step 13: Pull the mouse to the little box under the giant thing that says "Google." Sometimes it's tricky because the "Google" is hidden behind special effects and the like! Don't be afraid, you'll get there soon enough.

Step 14: CLICK IN THE BOX! May as well get some champagne out when you're at it!

Step 15: Okay, now put your fingers on the keyboard again. I know, it's a little hard at first because you're used to the mouse by now, but it's okay, it happens.

Step 16: Think about what you're going to type now.. What are you looking for again? OH YEAH!

Step 17: Type in the following "Custom Wristband." Keep in mind, this is NOT case sensitive!

Step 18: Okay, grab that nice mouse! Think you can handle it?

Step 19: Take the mouse, and move it to the gray boxes beneath where you just typed. BE CAREFUL! It's easy to make a mistake, and press on the wrong box! Click on the one on the LEFT! It says "Google Search"

Step 20: Click it!

Step 21: Sit back, relax, have a sip of your champagne while the page loads again. Keep your hand on your mouse though! It will save you a step!

Step 22: The page should be loaded now. With your hand on the mouse, lean forwards so you can read what the "Search Results" say. I recommend you pay attention to the top links in the blue box, these are good especially if you want to buy something!

Step 23: Click on a link!

Step 24: If it's what you're looking for, then you're done. If not, continue on with guide!

Step 25: Alright, with your mouse, drag it to the "Back" button, often represented by an ARROW that is pointing towards the LEFT. I sometimes accidentally click the one pointing to the right because I confuse the two..

Step 26: Click the button!

Step 27: Okay, so click on the NEXT result.

Step 28: Go back to step 24. If necessary, follow through again to 28 until you find what you want!

Step 29: Celebrate!

Step 30: Go have a nap, it's been a long day! You deserve it!

:nododgy:

I don't mean to be jackass, but COME ON! Can't you at least try?!

I don't know about you guys, but I'm sure as heck using that one next time! :D

[bamf-hacker]

Rofl

[Foxfire]

I don't know if I can follow this guide it, seems kind of difficult.

[durrell]

Sadly, some people just don't know how to find things they're looking for on Google. Regardless of how you break down the process of finding things..people will still ask questions..since that's what most people join forums for. ;)

[shunut]

Whats Google?

[kidonfire]

Whats Google?

lol, here's your answer.

Google, a popular search engine, is a tool for finding resources on the World Wide Web. Google scans web pages to find instances of the keywords you have entered in the search box.

j/k

Thanks for that guide, I finally know how to use Google. WOOT! ;)

[Moe]

Left mouse key...wtf?? I only have one mouse key.:mad:

This guide SUCKS!

[calebh]

another great guide to just about anything: Teh Wikeh!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page)

;)

[leed]

Left mouse key...wtf?? I only have one mouse key.:mad:

This guide SUCKS!

Go back to bed Moephoosle. Actually, new macs have a left and right key too, even though it looks like one giant click button. I set my computer at school to not be ghetto and so it has a right click button ( > CTRL+CLICK)

[Moe]

Go back to bed Moephoosle. Actually, new macs have a left and right key too, even though it looks like one giant click button. I set my computer at school to not be ghetto and so it has a right click button ( > CTRL+CLICK)


yeah, i have ctrl click also. i was just being retarded.:)

[leed]

yeah, i have ctrl click also. i was just being retarded.:)

That's not obvious. :dodgy:

[xsgmike66x]

yesh....now as soon as i go to the store for some champane i can try it out :)

[RIpaintballer]

dude this works omg.

[phatphil]

Those instructions are confusing... anyone have a longer, more-explained version? I'm just learning how to use "the Google".

[calebh]

well, to grab the mouse:

1. find mouse and make sure it is in operable condition. this may involve uncovering it, flipping it over, cleaning it out, plugging it in, or unsticking buttons. it is usually found on what is called a mousepad, but it may be found across the room, in the trashcan, in the pile of dirty clothes on your floor, or any number of other places. mice like to hide.

2. you'll have to exercise your right arm. this may require the use of steroids and/or a few days of hard weight lifting. a pencil should do. lift your right arm and bend your elbow so your hand is positioned directly above the mouse

3. cup your right hand, palm down, with the first two fingers extended.

4. lower your right arm so your hand rests easily on the mouse. it may be necessary to simply let the strength in your arm give out.

5. position your right index finger on the left mouse button. this should leave your middle finger still extended.

6. lower your right middle finger so it rests on the right mouse button.

7. test your mouse by moving your arm around. you may have to wait until your arm regains strength.

8. if your mouse works, you are good to go. if not, you should first ensure that you have a computer mouse, not your little brother's pet mouse. if you have tried to use your little brother's pet mouse, feed it, and return it to its cage. go back to step 1.