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View Full Version : Woman Advice - I am stumped


Slammed0
11-03-2006, 07:11 PM
Well, my buddy at worked asked me for advice. I thought I knew a thing or two from dating and flirting. I was wrong. lol This has me stumped. Could go eithier way. Here it goes. I will try to make it short as possible.

There is a girl at work he noticed. Well she noticed him back. I have seen her looking over at him. So have a few others. There are like 3 or 4 guys that have told him they have seen her checking him out. Or atleast looking his way. Well one of our louder buddies actually said something to her, that he knew somebody who liked her. She asked who and said that he should come up to her that she doesn't bite.

Well he passed her in the hall one day and got the guts to say something. He asked if his buddy had said something to her and she said ya. He apologized as that seemed high schoolish. Then he asked her to lunch. This is where it gets tricky.

He asked her to lunch and she said ya but that he should know that she has a boyfriend. He says ok and kinda pauses. She then says she will go but it may be just as friends. May being the key word that stumps me. He then says thats its ok that she doesn't have to worry about it and he understands. She then asks when he goes to lunch. He says anytime. She says she goes at 11:15 and then she can go then. He again says its ok, not to worry about it cause he respects that (meaning he doesn't want to step on anybodys toes). She then says thats good cause alot of guys think that no rings means open game. But now they know each other and can say hi and stuff and she will go to lunch with him.

Now, I see alot of options here. Yes, she did throw him the friend card, however, with read between the lines type wording too IMO. MAY? may go as friends? I would think WILL go as friends. And the fact too that she is willing to go. If I had somebody I wasn't interested in or didn't find attractive ask me to lunch I would say "thanks, but I got a girlfriend and I don't think it would be appropriate."

What do you think? Friend card or is she looking to upgrade?

marvin-martian
11-03-2006, 07:14 PM
this is the best advice i can give you for all your girl problem needs: http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=1773113

DRAGON
11-03-2006, 07:20 PM
I wouldn't touch that situation till the other relationship was broken off for sure. He could be asking for more than he can handle if her b/f's name is like Lee Harvey Manson and he is in the Hells Angels or something lol -

timmyshoota
11-03-2006, 07:22 PM
No ring = fair game. Plain and simple. If the girl is happy with her boyfriend, she will make it known by the way she acts. If she isn't happy, you'll have a chance.

UKwithPride
11-03-2006, 07:29 PM
No ring = fair game. Plain and simple. If the girl is happy with her boyfriend, she will make it known by the way she acts. If she isn't happy, you'll have a chance.
Sweet, in this case, I kissed a girl who has a boyfriend....more than once!

Slammed0
11-03-2006, 07:38 PM
LOL! That link was great too!!

marvin-martian
11-03-2006, 07:46 PM
the first page of that thread is retarded and you shouldnt pay much attention to it

*edit* - http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=26841110#post26841110 utterly amazing

Daddy360
11-03-2006, 07:50 PM
I wouldnt mess with her until her relationship is over. Because people talk alot of stuff and if her boyfriend is the jealous type (which i bet he is lol since most of us guys are like that) i def. wouldnt interfere with that because he'll start thinking it as you trying to take over his spot. Anyways, if she is interested as going out to lunch "as friends" and she has a bf its prob to get to know you better and prob leave her bf for you or try and play some games. So yea those are hard situations to handle and the only advice i can give you is to becareful and make sure you support your final decision 100%. Goodluck.

timmyshoota
11-03-2006, 08:10 PM
I wouldnt mess with her until her relationship is over. Because people talk alot of stuff and if her boyfriend is the jealous type (which i bet he is lol since most of us guys are like that) i def. wouldnt interfere with that because he'll start thinking it as you trying to take over his spot. Anyways, if she is interested as going out to lunch "as friends" and she has a bf its prob to get to know you better and prob leave her bf for you or try and play some games. So yea those are hard situations to handle and the only advice i can give you is to becareful and make sure you support your final decision 100%. Goodluck.
If you want to beat someone up because someone stole your girlfriend, you need to rethink your outlook on life. 99.9% of the time if she left you for someone else, either A) you messed up, or B) she's a crackhead and not worth the trouble.

DRAGON
11-03-2006, 08:21 PM
If you want to beat someone up because someone stole your girlfriend, you need to rethink your outlook on life. 99.9% of the time if she left you for someone else, either A) you messed up, or B) she's a crackhead and not worth the trouble.

Little story: I was talking to a lawyer a few years ago and he suddenly said, "Hey! Aren't you **** that used to go to ********* school?" and I said ya. I really didn't remember him since he was in a couple grades lower than me but we got on the subject of old friends. I said have you seen ***** ******* and he said he's dead. I says WTF happened. He said well ***** was messing around with a married woman and her husband shot him in the face point blank - :eek:

Anyways you're talking about getting beat up but it can be much worse depending on the person. I feel the same way you do that it's not worth the trouble but there are some crazy's out there no matter if they're married or not. Just a word to the wise - :o

Slammed0
11-03-2006, 11:09 PM
Ya, well first of all its not for me. lol I have a lady. Just a buddy asking for advice and I didn't really have any for him.

But ya, I do know what you are talking about. Guys can be crazy. Women makes us do stupid things. lol

DRAGON
11-03-2006, 11:25 PM
..........Guys can be crazy. Women can at times sucker us into doing stupid things. lol


Fixt.............. :D

Jimmyd24
11-04-2006, 08:47 AM
okay, how would you liked it if your going out with a girl and next thing you know you see her at a cafe or restaurant with some other guy, you approach her and she says tha their just friends
it just aint right to mess around with another girl and plus, if shes more or less willing to cheat on him, then shell prob be likely to cheat on you as soon as somehitng happens, dont do it until theyre done.

Daddy360
11-04-2006, 08:52 AM
and plus, if shes more or less willing to cheat on him, then shell prob be likely to cheat on you as soon as somehitng happens, dont do it until theyre done.

VERY TRUE! Its happened to me and friends of mine and its not BS. Women these days are getting to be worse then us guys and they'll do whatever they want.

marvin-martian
11-04-2006, 08:54 AM
I'm told i give the best advice when i'm laying in bed with me labtop high as a kite on sleep aides. So here we go! Let's talk about how you should play this...

Known: Woman is flirty, yet says she likes other guy.

Find: We need a reasonable goal here, not just "to get with girl and push other guy out of sight." No that's going to be a multiple phase opperation. I think first, the goal should be to get some escalation of the flirting.

Assumptions: I think it's fair to assume this girl doesn't really know what she wants. She's flakey and it appears she wants to keep things casual with you.

Properties: She's beautiful, the guy she's with is a douche (i really don't know enough detial to put things in here taht would help)

Analysis: Okay you're going to be very playful about her flirting. But it has to be stepped up a notch like you are trying to out do her. She tickles you, you tickle back a little harder (or a little closer to an intimate spot). Gauge her reaction. If at anytime she says anything about going to fast (in a sexual manner) you're response will be, "woah woah woah honey, where did you think this is going? because i'm catholic!" and then just give a big smile. Next you need to get her alone. You're going to hang out under the pretense of friends. Yes i know i've preached about not being in the friend trap but you're going to do it on YOUR TERMS so it's okay! So now you guys are hanging out alone together, start with the same flirting you do in class. Then step it up, step it up step it up. Make it a game of "how close can i cross the line before she says not. And when she says no, you bust out the line! Now while all this flirting is going on you have to be gamming her hard core. You should be showing her exactly why you're an amazing guy! The flirting will cover up the fact that you're gaming her... the flirting links her back to "risky friendship." But as she becomes intrigued and interested by you, she's going to start having a feeling of "ohhh i think i really like him." And she's going to fight that feeling because it's scares her. So now you've basically set up the point where you can sweep her off her feet. This is like the upper cut that knocks out the boxer. You do something (based on your prior knowledge of her) that will make her give in to that feeling of, "ohhh i think i like him....and....he's inside me" lol. I ususally use seduction at this point. Anything from a romance movie will usually do the trick. You have that moment where you tickle her, then you stop, then you look in her eyes, and you give her a serious kiss.

Comments: You want to get into that akward relationship with her where you're friends but there's tons of sexual tension. You spend the night together and you're very close but you tell everyone else you're just friends! On and you tell her that, she'll be in denial but we can worry about that later. This should be your next goal. Because if you're that kind of friend you're really not in the friend trap. It's easy to get out. She knows she likes you but she's denying it and saying, "oh were just friends" but she'd jump on the chance to be with you. Not only that, because you're her friend, you totally cock block the other guy. He's not going to like you being so close and probably make some outlandish demand that you can turn around on him. "What kind of boyfriend tells you who you can be friends with." Now even though she's denying it she'll think, "he's just my friend, he's right, my bf shouldn't be able to tell me who i'm friends with." Bascially what you're doing is sneaking in covertly under the pretense of "friend" getting close, dropping the bf... and then we'll go from there.
there you have it

Hossy
11-04-2006, 11:38 AM
so hmm... why dont we have an Official Relationship thread, or an official girl/guy help thread, just so we can be politically correct.

all in favor, say I

durrell
11-04-2006, 04:05 PM
We don't have the ridiculous amount of relationship threads here that PBN does, so we really don't need one.

Hossy
11-04-2006, 04:54 PM
eh after we had Aces problems and now this, it may have been nice if they keep popping up.

just an idea

timmyshoota
11-04-2006, 08:21 PM
okay, how would you liked it if your going out with a girl and next thing you know you see her at a cafe or restaurant with some other guy, you approach her and she says tha their just friends
it just aint right to mess around with another girl and plus, if shes more or less willing to cheat on him, then shell prob be likely to cheat on you as soon as somehitng happens, dont do it until theyre done.
I'm not super jealous. I use this thing called trust. Now if I find out my trust has been broken, of course I'm upset, but if you can't trust someone you have nothing, so its time to move on. If its someone I'm realllyllllylylylyly(emphasis :)) into, then I'm gonna be VERY upset, but I'm a level headed person. You just have to learn to roll with the punches. I understand that if I get pissed and go off on the guy she cheated with, I'm doing myself more harm than good. Some people are just not that smart. I understand that, but I can't worry about things like that. I try to not live my life in fear. I've been there and it gets you no where fast.

I've messed with girls with boyfriends, but never with a married girl. That's a line I won't step over. I also don't go after girls with boyfriends until I've been given a good enough signal. I've been talking to a girl at work who has a boyfriend. I've been getting the vibes from her that I've got a chance to move in. He treats her bad sometimes and my impression is that he's just not a good boyfriend(i.e. - player). He can give her certain things that she wants, but not everything she needs. When he really messes up, I'll be moving in quicker than Kenny Rosenberg into the snake off the break. Until then I'll do the friendly things: goto the movie as friends, maybe get lunch, coffee, etc. I'll play my cards right and show her who I am. I don't foresee her breaking up with her boyfriend for a few months, which is perfect. There's another girl I've been crushing on for awhile but she's out of state. She's coming back early in the summer and I'm gonna see how that goes. If things don't go as I plan or a long distance relationship isn't gonna work, I've still been putting in work with the other girl and have a backup plan. I've got things planned out. :)

tl;dr

I don't steal a girl from her boyfriend, I put in the ground work and wait for an opportunity to strike.

Daddy360
11-04-2006, 08:30 PM
Alot of us use that thing called "trust". But just because you "trust" her doesnt mean you cant watch over her to make sure she dont do anything stupid. Yea my last relation i had trusted my girl and she kissed another guy, i still love her so im giving her a 2nd chance but this time i know better and know i cant trust her completely. You CANT fully trust ANY females. Their to easy to get emotional and to easy to confuse them and therefor to easy to get them to do what you want to do with them.

Hossy
11-04-2006, 08:36 PM
tl;dr

I don't steal a girl from her boyfriend, I put in the ground work and wait for an opportunity to strike.


Big Pimpin

i think thats what most of us do, minus the people here that have children like vike, dan, D, jimmy, etc.

Good job Chris

timmyshoota
11-04-2006, 09:10 PM
Big Pimpin

i think thats what most of us do, minus the people here that have children like vike, dan, D, jimmy, etc.

Good job Chris

True, but I know a lot of people who don't do anything with girls with boyfriends. They are afraid to even go out "as friends".