View Full Version : Disorder in the Court

Team Ramrod
08-15-2006, 03:27 PM
ot these in an email, some of them are helarious. Things people were recorded saying in court, read...

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court", and are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
now published by
court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are
excellent - don't miss the last one.



Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.


Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forg! ! et. Can you give us an example of something that you've


Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you w! ! hen he woke up
that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I,! Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.


Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or
the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.


Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?


Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?


Q: Were you present when your picture ! was taken?


Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?


Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male! , or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
&! nbsp; autopsy.


Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.

08-15-2006, 04:00 PM

08-15-2006, 04:28 PM
" Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time? "


08-15-2006, 04:38 PM
haha thats halirous

08-15-2006, 04:41 PM
lmao that was good

08-15-2006, 10:00 PM
the lawyer has to get the witness to say everything thats relevant unimplyed.

08-16-2006, 03:22 AM
That was very funny......

08-16-2006, 08:06 AM
hahaa !!! I feel sorry for the Courts that have to go through this ... :p

08-16-2006, 12:58 PM
I deal with this every day with my employees.

The Pink Panther
08-16-2006, 03:45 PM
the last one haha

08-16-2006, 03:53 PM
haha glad i took the time to read those