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View Full Version : Top 30 “Facts” About Vin Diesel


Drefish99
01-06-2006, 06:25 PM
1. Onions do not make Vin Diesel cry. Vin Diesel makes onions crap on themselves.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
3. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
4. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
5. Vin Diesel can slam a revolving door.
6. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
7. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
8. When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
9. When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
10. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.
11. Vin Diesel played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
12. Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
13. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
14. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
15. Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
16. Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
17. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
19. When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
20. Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now? not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULL****!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been referred to as Christmas.
21. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.
22. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.
23. Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
24. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
25. Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant; he just refuses to put up with lactose's crap.
26. When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
27. Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light, except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
28. If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever; it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for *****s." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
29. There are two types of people in this world: the dead, and those who have not yet met Vin Diesel.
30. On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

bamf-hacker
01-06-2006, 06:27 PM
Where are you getting these, they are great...

#8 on this one.

HacKeR

claustrophobia9
01-06-2006, 06:32 PM
you realize that all of these are the same but with different names, click the randomizer on the website that has all of them and youll read ones that youve seen under another name, chuck, mrt.

Hoppy11
01-06-2006, 06:33 PM
16 and 27 acually made me LOL, oh and you always wonder where thses things come from. Well this is what dre does for his job. :dodgy:

ttink
01-06-2006, 06:41 PM
a few of those made me lol...

Drefish99
01-06-2006, 07:07 PM
you realize that all of these are the same but with different names, click the randomizer on the website that has all of them and youll read ones that youve seen under another name, chuck, mrt.

That’s not entirely true. I got a far better chuckle from the Mr. T version.

Mr.T> Chuck Norris> Vin Diesel - IMO

druid
01-06-2006, 07:20 PM
bwahahahaha!!! I spit coffee on #1.....

Xecutiv3
01-06-2006, 08:09 PM
#4 is just plain wrong

Moe
01-06-2006, 09:51 PM
lol @ 12.

damn it, im a nerd.

Recon by Fire
01-06-2006, 11:20 PM
Okay, this list is completely bogus and Vin Diesel ran out of gas after making Pitch Black in 2000. Prior to that he did in a supporting role in Saving Private Ryan. Since 2000 it has all been crash n' burn baby! He gets a bug L for Loser :(

vikingshadow
01-07-2006, 05:15 AM
I got a kick out of 8, 9, 10 and 25!