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View Full Version : chuck norris facts reincarnated.


claustrophobia9
01-01-2006, 12:01 PM
instead of just posting them all, why dont you come up with some, to start here is one that i found.

Chuck Norris is known for his lagre lawn gnome collection. Coincidentally children often go missing near his house.

and

chuck norris CAN find a needle in a haystack, then can kill a man with the needle or the haystack.

DFSniper
01-01-2006, 12:51 PM
Chuck Norris busted onto the scene of Armageddon, roundhoused Bruce Willis and made off with Liv Tyler after staring the asteroid off orbit.

WhatThaSmurf
01-01-2006, 01:05 PM
chucks norris' mother didn't go through labor, he roundhouse kicked his way out. shortly there after he grew a beard

claustrophobia9
01-01-2006, 03:01 PM
First, Chuck Norris wasn't born, he was forged.
Chuck Norris found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq by looking in a mirror
Chuck Norris can do 0 to 60 in 4 seconds on a ladies' bicycle without pedalling
The only word in the English language that rhymes with "orange" is "Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris makes Jehovah's Witnesses eat the pamphlets they give him
Chuck Norris owns neither microwave nor oven. When he is hungry, he simply shouts "BAKE" to his food, and out of fear, the food instantly catches on fire
The milkshake doesn't bring Chuck Norris to the yard
Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his mind (if you know what that code is, congrats.)

WhatThaSmurf
01-01-2006, 03:05 PM
chuck norris once shot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang"

redlantern
01-01-2006, 03:14 PM
Chuck Norris is suing NBC because Law and Order are the copyrighted names of his right and left leg.