View Full Version : This is crazy...

04-09-2006, 11:34 PM
Ok, I've been having some problems. At first it was my dreams waking me up from explosions in them. I also have episodes where I stop and just keep revisioning scenes I saw in Iraq. Then there are the times I see a light through the tree's and whip my head to see if its a flare or muzzle flash. In a weeks time period at its worst, I got less than 12 hours sleep from the explosions in my sleep waking me up and the insomnia. So I goto the VA for help. I am a zombie at this point. I first have to register, no problem. then they send me to the emergency room to see a doc. I sit there for 3 hours, waiting. I noticed other people coming in and getting called before me. I go and talk to a guy about it and he informs me more severe cases first. That I understand. So I ask the guy, "instead of having people sit in there for hours on end, how about making an appointment?" The guy looked at me and said, "thats a good idea". Like it was never thought of. But due to sleep deprivation, he said I was an emergency situation. Derr. he tells me to go back and he'll look into it. Ok. Half an hour later, he walks in and talks to the lady at the desk and calls me up. Gives me an appointment for the next day at 1pm. Groovy. I come back the next day at 1pm, just to sit for an hour and a half before I finally get seen. Granted, its almost an hour drive and a zombie behind the wheel dont mix. I make it after a few close calls. So now I'm sitting there telling this woman my troubles plus a nice list of things friends have noticed different about me. All this in front of a student doctor also. Here I am laying it all out and this lady has the gaul to ask me, "what can we do to help you?". I reminded her she was the doctor and I was the one with my head messed up...she should know...

So she proceeds to write me out a prescription for the depression and something to help me sleep. then tells me i have an appointment...theres that word again....with another doctor....2 weeks from that day. I was dumbfounded. 2 weeks???? The pills only made me more miserable. I have just about quit having the dreams, but the insomnia and other symptoms are everpresent. the doctor in their infinite wisdom made an appointment for the earlier part of the morning. When I woke up, I had a message on the voicemail from my doctor saying I was late for my appointment. Derr. Insomnia and morning appointments...um, yea. Its been 3 months now since I been home. I had a job for 3 days but staying awake just to goto work didnt cut it. Now my savings are gone....I still cant sleep normally....and I've drawn into myself. I guess this is an outreach, wtf do i do? Seriously, this sucks!

did a radio interview and was interviewed by esquire magazine about things over there also.


04-10-2006, 01:26 AM
Woah SH......that's some hairy ****! Knowing the VA, you'll either have to hurt yourself or someone else before you can get some serious attention -

I am a habitual nocternal/insomniac myself but not even close to the reasons you explained. Mine was mostly due to work and the situations I was engrossed into at that time. I was getting an average of 2-3 hours of sleep a night and no REM sleep at all. I'd be working 10-12 hour shifts and it finally burned me out. I tried sleeping pills but they just made me just as groggy and a mean mutha while awake. I tried them a couple of times for maybe a few days in a row then quit them and they lay in the medicine cabinet past expiration. I finally dropped out and said **** everything. I'm still not dealing with the nocternal thing too well. At times I stay up 2-3 days at a time then finally crash. I may be calling myself Tyler Durden shortly - :p

As far as your VA thing is concerned, you may just have to go in there and bug out/get loud before they actually get serious. I think it's a shame that you served and went through all of that Mid East thing and it sounds like they have no genuine concern. Doctors have this God image in their heads and seem to major in excuses if they have no idea what the actual prob is. This is what it sounds like you're going through with this rookie you're dealing with right now. I went through a thing a few years ago where I woke up one day and it felt like my neck and back were permanently kinked. I mean some major pain. My right hand, fingers and portions of my arm were numb. I was sent to a specialist and he sent me to have numerous tests done by other specialists, from accupuncture to scanners.......nothing. They didn't know ****! They wanted to send me elsewhere(more specialists, more drugs) and I said **** you. They kept mentioning all types of possibilities but could not pinpoint a thing. All they wanted to do is drug me up with these pills that it seems I became dependant on. I mean it was like I was addicted to them. I finally dummied up and just dealt with the pain and stopped taking those pills very reluctantly. Funny thing is, after I stopped taking them I woke up one morning and POOF.....no more pain. It disappeared apparently as quickly as it appeared -

I'm thinking in your situation they will try to do the exact same thing. They're gonna want to drug you up and give you a false sense of being cured when all the time I'm thinking you may have to get past all somehow and cure yourself. Pills and alcohol will only help you escape temporarily and when you wake up in the morning you will still be in the same ol ****hole untill your next temporary escape. The mind is a powerful tool, use it as best as you can. Sounds like you're going to have to find a different activity to get your mind from the rut it's in. A different type of escape per se. While I'm handing out advice, sounds like I need to do the same thing myself lol -

Good luck and hopefully you find a way to dig to a brighter sense of security and empowerment - ;)

04-11-2006, 11:15 PM
guess I'll have to tough it out since I have enough self respect to not hurt myself or someone else :)

can't see myself going the alcohol route, but instead have sought college courses online for criminal justice, since Im awake so much. That and passed the first 2 phases to becoming a police officer (written and physical agility tests). Background check and psych eval are next, lol, go figure. I'm figuring going after what I've wanted to do for the longest time will help set me straight. We'll see...

04-12-2006, 03:02 AM
First off, thanks for serving your country.
Ok, the VA is red tape FUBAR. I'm no shrink, but you are still newly arriving home. It's going to take some time to re-acclimatize and get back to "normal". Find someone you have a good relationship with and discuss whatever is on your mind with them. Maybe there are things subconsciously you need to work out. Don't forget to have some recreation time to unwind, try new hobbies/sports; I hear paintball is a lot of fun! ;)

04-12-2006, 07:24 AM
Thank you much for serving our country.The fact that you would put your life on the line while people sit at home and ***** about things says wonders.Hats off to you sir.

04-12-2006, 11:48 AM
SH, Im sure you have heard of PTSD.. and we did a whole section on that is psych class and it just sounds like you are having some symtoms of it and maybe you should look into seeing a specific doctor for it. Now im not doctor and just know very little about it but its just a suggestion.

04-12-2006, 07:42 PM
i sort of had that problem, when i was 13. i don know how i rembered it. but at night i would just mess with my gun and watch tv, and before i know it, it was 2:00 in the moring and i wasnt tired

04-12-2006, 11:47 PM
Dunno if this forum is the best place to air this question but thats my opinion. Most of these folks have never been in the situation you and numerous other brothers and sisters have found themselves in upon deployment and redeployment back stateside. I wish I could say I know what youre going through and that I understand but can't say I do, because I haven't had the chance to go build sand castles in the giant sand box of the mideast. Keep pluggin away at the VA if that doesn't work and get you results start calling your congress man/woman whoever it may be. Trust me Have an Iraq War vet calling about the VA F'ing around and they'll be on it like white on rice. Another avenue is checking out http://www.militaryonesource.com/skins/MOS/home.aspx They have numbers of folks that will listen and point you in the right direction. Think you only need a valid AKO address to register. If you need any help or even someone to vent to just shoot me a PM or whatever... Take it easy

04-13-2006, 03:08 AM
ive read about this stuff, but ive never known anyone that had it (a few people that changed a little when they got back, but nothing serious). the only thing i can think of is trying to get your life back to normal and into a semi-routine. and listen to what Dragon and big daddy d said.

04-15-2006, 01:06 AM
SH, Im sure you have heard of PTSD.. and we did a whole section on that is psych class and it just sounds like you are having some symtoms of it and maybe you should look into seeing a specific doctor for it. Now im not doctor and just know very little about it but its just a suggestion.
:yeahthat: It's the first thing that came to my mind as I read through your post, particularly with the lights in the woods VS muzzle flashes and flares thing and the explosions. I mean, come on...when I see a light in the woods my first thought is that it's a good thing because someone else is out there with me and I wont get lost, but you view it as a bad or dangerous thing from your experiences (old-skool term here, brace yourselves!) "over there" and your training. I'm with Hopps all the way on this one...look up what you can about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and see what doctors in your area specialize in it. If nothing else, get info about other people who have similar experiences as you and find out how they overcame them. Humans are different, yes, but not so different as some solutions that work well with some people and horrible with others wont work with you. I think that Fred might actually have some ideas on this topic if we can drag his Psych majoring ass in here. On my end I'll see what my sister has learned in her Psych classes at UCD so far and see if she knows of anything that can help.

As the others have said, Soldierz, I thank you from the depths of my heart for your service to our country, and welcome you home. Best of luck mate, keep chugging along and pull through this!