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marvin-martian
01-21-2010, 10:00 AM
BACKSTORY: So earlier this summer (Juneish?)I was talking to this girl for awhile before we realized we really weren't compatible for a "real" relationship, which is what I was originally looking for. At some point I discovered she is a mild druggie and things began to dissipate. Since then, we have been in very loose contact with each other, but that's been ramping back up for a month or 2 now.

In these more recent times, I find out more about her habits (what she does and how often). She has let the drugs get too important to her, and I really want to help her out. She has admitted that she uses them too much and she has said she doesn't want me to get involved with that world. She has tried to halfheartedly quit in the past, but it didn't really last very long. In the beginning, she started using them as a crutch and now (I think) doesn't know what to do with it now, and since she enjoys it she isn't being too big about dropping it. Things began to just be 'whatever' to me, and my goal was strictly to get with her, but that changed last night. Something happened and I got mad/hurt at her, and this morning a light went off in my head that I just need to try and help her. The problem is, I have no idea how. I'm more into at least getting her to cut back and realizing the aren't that important. I would be...OK with her keeping it confined to weekends or something. Any insight?

battlechaser
01-21-2010, 10:53 AM
The hardest part about a drug addiction is getting the person to realize they want to change. Nothing you do to force them to will work unless they have the desire and willpower to take the necessary steps to overcome their addiction.

What is she using if you don't mind me asking?

marvin-martian
01-21-2010, 11:08 AM
She calls acid her best friend and gave it a name. I realize there's nothing in LSD to make one physically addicted, but from what I understand, she isn't physically dependent on it. She just...enjoys it too much to be serious about stopping. Like, once I said "I thought you quit?" to which she replied "haha lucys too sweet". Someone else has suggested to me that there are other drugs involved (which I have already considered),but she has never referenced anything other than this and weed. Not saying there isn't anything else, I just don't know of it.

I also have the obstacle of her friends, who introduced her to everything.

ferret15
01-21-2010, 12:22 PM
edit: Thats ****ed up she calls acid her best friend. Its one thing to enjoy something but I think that says it all with that statement. I would encourage her to seek council from maybe some "long since stopped" individuals to help her find herself. that kind of attitude reminds me of gollum and could only get worse.

DFSniper
01-21-2010, 12:35 PM
its a mental addiction. she enjoys the trip she gets. i dont have any experience with that kind of stuff, but it sounds like she needs to get out more and realize she can have fun w/o it.

shunut
01-22-2010, 04:09 AM
Unfortunately to get someone to quit there has to be an event and consequences that they are unwilling to sacrifice. Something has to be more important than the drug to them that they will lose if they don't quit. Unfortunately Marv, I don't think this is something that ONLY you can do. You need the support of her family her friends, really an intervention is best. I have an uncle who had a drug problem. He was in and out of rehab, always went back to the drugs. The family finally did an intervention, everyone told him, either it stops or nobody is going to help him anymore, they were going to call DCFS on him along with other things and they told him this. He got clean. All in all, there has to be REAL consequences, real negatives to her taking drugs, for her to stop.

buffblackbird2002
01-23-2010, 04:48 PM
Basically everything everyone has discussed above is what I would have said. My wife has had experiences with a few different things and agreed that your friend has a mental addiction from the trip she gets using acid and other drugs. Even if she doesn't use anything else, she can still be addicted to the acid. She likes the way it makes her escape from her own life. You can help all you want until you die, but it will never change her unless SHE wants to change. If she says she does and everything but still does not, then she's lying. Its ultimately her decision, obviously. If her friends are the ones that got her into the mess, then they are the ones she needs to ditch. But if she has called it by a name "Lucy", I doubt that she will quit without a fight. Sad to say, you can't do much.

xsvly-fat
01-23-2010, 05:14 PM
Try to get her friends involved in helping her stop. If alot of her friends do it try to get her to meet people who don't do that stuff. I think friends are the biggest influence. Also remember it's not going to happen over night. It could take several months.

marvin-martian
01-23-2010, 05:19 PM
I have received this reply from another place, and thought it would be useful to post here for others to see. Anybody think this isn't the best way forward?

"Try looking at it from her point of view. She enjoys doing LSD, her friends (who she is closer to than you and thus is likely to value their opinions more than yours) all enjoy it also and from my understanding do it with her. I'm assuming she's at least moderately intelligent and has researched at least briefly the effects of the drug before she decided to do it. Even if she hasn't, you can't really make a strong case as to why she shouldn't do it since acid is a very soft drug. There is zero potential for physical addiction and it is impossible to overdose or do any physical harm to yourself by taking it. There are mental issues that can develop from taking it in large amounts over a large period of time, but I'm assuming you're both teenagers or early 20's at the oldest. She is thus very unlikely to be concerned with the effects of chronic use.

So pretty much she likes doing it, as do her friends, and then she has you, a person she knows pretty well but isn't best friends with, who thinks she should cut back. Can you see how she isn't likely to lean towards your opinion?

The only way to influence someone in a situation like this is to be very close to them. If you are really concerned about getting her to stop you only have one course of action and it's going to take a lot of time and effort. You will have to continue to become closer to her until you achieve best friend status or close to it and your opinion becomes critical to her. Lead by example, don't berate her and constantly talk down her drug use. In fact, don't even bring it up unless she does. You have to make it known to her that you sincerely care about her."

xsvly-fat
01-23-2010, 08:52 PM
I think it is. I mean the closer you get to her the more she'll realize that you care about her and that you want her to stop.

Ace24
01-24-2010, 09:30 AM
The only way I got my girlfriend to quit using speed and popping pills was to tell her that she had to choose. I almost lost her because I said simply, "You have to decide what is more important to you." She chose me and quit cold turkey. She slipped up a couple times with cigarettes, but she's completely clean now.

We've been going out for two years and it took half that time to get her clean. You have to really love the person to actually have the dedication to do it. It's hard to do and like it's been said before, she has to choose. At some point, I'm sure she's going to realize she has to stop. LSD isn't a joke. If it were weed, I'd say don't be so stingy as long as she sticks to just weed... but that's not the case. Survivor stories and the struggles they faced is a good scare tactic and can make some think over what their doing.

LSD is a mental addiction and can be stopped. You just have to prove to her that there is better stuff out there for her to be doing. People she can hang out with, events and things she can go to and that she doesn't need LSD as a crutch, friend, or pastime.

druid
02-08-2010, 01:24 AM
I'd like to help but I can only post from a Department of Corrections point of view...it isn't "bad" per se...just what I have experience with...

In my extensive experience, the ONLY way a drug addicted person will quit is if THEY want to. There is nothing you, I, her parents, the law or counselor can say to change her mind if SHE doesn't want to change it.

The sad fact is they like the way they feel when on ______ and miss it when they aren't high. The brain creates all kinds of phantom pains and ailments that "force" the user to return to the drug...just so they don't feel ill.

marvin-martian
03-04-2010, 01:10 PM
Yesterday I found out that the only reason she ever said she wanted to get off of it was to make me happy. It was never her intention to try, just to make me think more highly of her. Now I'm just kind of at a loss and frustrated.


The sad fact is they like the way they feel when on ______ and miss it when they aren't high. The brain creates all kinds of phantom pains and ailments that "force" the user to return to the drug...just so they don't feel ill.
Definitely happening...

UKwithPride
03-04-2010, 04:54 PM
Join in on the fun!

But really, you can't help everyone, so if it was me I'd just say whatever and move on.

Or, like I said, join in on the fun!

thechubbss12
03-05-2010, 11:08 AM
Marv. People will always be people, their main goal is too please no one else but themselves first and foremost. Too be brutally honest you need too make a call, either devote a part of your life too this "cause" (has no guarantee of success) OR give up the fight while you still hold some form of respect for this person. Because if you fail and or decide to give up your aid mid way through this process your not only hurting your own personal respect but the overall respect of the person your trying too help.

I personally have no idea how old either of you are, but what your dealing with is real life business and if your not ready to do everything that it takes then back out now. Lastly why is this girl so important to help in the first place... people are people and should always be expected to fail. They make choices based upon selfish desires without considering the consequences.

Also remember you cant help summ one change, they have too make the decision to change them selfs. Maturity has a lot too do with this because teenage girls are pathetically unequipped too emotionally handle real life situations.... I know because I married one =/.

marvin-martian
03-11-2010, 01:30 PM
How morally inept would I be to...do...stuff with her?

druid
03-11-2010, 06:04 PM
Well let me ask you this......

Is it worth throwing your life down the tubes like you think she is doing with hers?

or

Is it worth risking/getting arrested/imprisoned for?

or

Why would you stoop to that [lower] level?

or

Are you, or are you not, better than that?

Pick your poison.

marvin-martian
03-11-2010, 06:05 PM
no no no. You misunderstood me. I'm thinking more...physical.

UKwithPride
03-12-2010, 02:29 AM
Do the drugs with her, and the other things. You only live once, and life is too short to waste it david! :)

marvin-martian
03-12-2010, 07:14 AM
Shutup

UKwithPride
03-12-2010, 11:18 AM
Shutup

<33333 you

TheDarkShadow
03-12-2010, 12:36 PM
if she wants it(not while on drugs) and you do to why not? if she's under the influence.. that is tough.

druid
03-12-2010, 08:33 PM
no no no. You misunderstood me. I'm thinking more...physical.

Oh, oh, oooooh.......then disregard my previous post.

No, it's not "inept" or anything to hang out with her and do things...but make it a condition while you are hanging out...

"no drugs/paraphernalia while you are around.'

.,..because if you are if/when she gets stopped or busted, anyone with her is in the same boat....the "USS Trouble"

DFSniper
03-13-2010, 09:44 AM
im with paul on this one

marvin-martian
03-24-2010, 03:54 PM
Eventful day...I never did aforementioned activity with her.
Today I find out that shes essentially been lying to me since...forever and is afraid she is pregnant. So I go into crisis mode and talk her through things she has to do (test, doctor, etc etc) before she had to go to work. We were still texting about things when she sent one saying she just had her period.

I tell one of my friends this and he suggests that it was all to get attention. What say you guys?

UKwithPride
03-24-2010, 11:58 PM
Eventful day...I never did aforementioned activity with her.
Today I find out that shes essentially been lying to me since...forever and is afraid she is pregnant. So I go into crisis mode and talk her through things she has to do (test, doctor, etc etc) before she had to go to work. We were still texting about things when she sent one saying she just had her period.

I tell one of my friends this and he suggests that it was all to get attention. What say you guys?

There's only one thing to do, and it involves a rake.

TheDarkShadow
03-25-2010, 08:46 AM
holy ****, talk about drama.