PDA

View Full Version : Farewell to paintball


vikingshadow
03-12-2006, 06:11 AM
Ok, this seemed to be a trend a few years ago, but I haven't seen it but once since then. I'm not trying to make a splash, or get sympathy. I have friends here, and thought I ought to tell you guys this. As I said, you're my friends and deserve to know this. If you don't care, then don't read it, and I'll just say good bye to you now. Warning! It is a long post!

For those of you who do care, you may (or may not) have noticed I haven't posted nearly as much as I had been lately. I've been checking in every day, but in all honesty, I decided to quit paintball a couple of weeks ago. My birthday was last weekend, and it was that turning-point birthday (40), so I began doing a lot of thinking. I started running during this time, as I remembered I had a lot of time to think while I was running - cleared my head, so to speak, of a lot of cobwebs junking up the place.

It started about 3 weeks ago when my team and I went to the reball center in OKC and my gun went down - and if you know me, my guns DO NOT EVER quit working so this really bugged me. While I had an angel to play with, which did great, the nagging idea that things were falling apart kept coming in my head the whole day. I was angry and to top it off, we saw some things at the field which a year ago wouldn't have bothered me, but did this day. But I wasn't going to quit, I was going to get even better. I began selling my guns off so I could buy a PM6 from Durrell....which, fortunately for me, my guns never sold. :mad:

Anyway, on the 2.5 hour drive home, I talked with my wife about it and I came to the conclussion (in my head again) that I needed to get rid of something in my life...and free up some time for me to gather my thoughts and become "human" again. Unfortunately, the only thing I could come up with was that paintball had to go. But I wasn't sure that's what I wanted to do. I was about 30 percent decided...

Over the past two weeks, I quit sitting in front of the computer so much, started reading more, and started feeling in control of my life once again. Then, last Sunday evening (after my parents and friends had left from my b-day party,) I decided it was over. I HAD to quit, because it wasn't fun anymore, and my life was in chaos. I actually was planning on telling the team today in team practice first, then let you guys know, but the captain isn't going to be there. I figure that financially, mentally, and emotionally, with the family, my job and what with me working on National Boards starting this summer, I just need to drop something in my life. Paintball was occupying too much of my time.

Of course, I feel obligated to play this next tournament with the team, but after that, I'm out for good. I mean, unless something big happens between now and then, which I'm not ruling out. It used to be fun, now it's just an unpaid job for me that I do every weekend for 5 hours at the field and countless hours on the net.

I do have a plan - I'm going to start back into writing, which I had a plan to publish shortly, that is, before I started paintball, so now I'm getting back into that. I plan to go fishing and swimming with my kids this summer, continue running, work hard on National Boards, get back into my job (I sort of made it the "back burner" kind of thing once I discovered paintball) start back to church again (which was another thing I put on the back burner,) spend more time with the family and just start living again.

I'll still be here, working as a moderator and talking to you guys. At least for awhile. I once thought I was going to make it pretty big in paintball. Still think I could have - had I lived in the right area, hadn't burned out, hadn't taken it so seriously - I was just getting angry all the time.

It hit me, after I had been somewhat depressed for about 3 weeks - I mean, I'm getting older (more than twice as old as my two youngest team mates,) I didn't like paintball anymore, I had decided to quit, but hadn't told anyone... that it all came down to this. I decided to stop TRYING to make my mark on the world, and realize that I ALREADY have.

(Now, before you say it, this isn't a gushy remark stolen from a movie or a television show, I realized I actually have made a mark. I have two wonderful kids, have lots of friends, people ALL OVER THE WORLD now know Vikingshadow :rolleyes: thanks to the internet, and most of all, I'm a teacher. WARNING: BRAGGING TIME!!!! I've been Teacher of the Year, I've recently been selected to become part of a committee to review our states testing standards, and I've won the Outstanding Educator award in our district, and I've been selected for several other committees, including Ruby Payne's Teacher's Teaching Teachers and Dealing with Poverty in our Schools, Literacy First, Great Expectations, the list goes on. Now I'm up for National Board Certification. This is just within the last 4 years! I've had students from years ago coming up to me this year, giving me a hug and saying, "I remember...." and telling me "You're my favorite teacher!" I believe I have made my mark, somewhat, and the next mark I want to leave is with my children and with my writing. So I have nothing to be ashamed of, that's for sure!)

Ok, so my somewhat successful run in paintball (a first place win, a second place win, 4th place and then a couple bad placings in tournaments, becoming one of the better players at my field and a few other fields, a moderator on a big worldwide forum where people ask for my help daily) is over. Unfortunately, I can't even play rec because no one at my field outside my team will play me. They'll all play WITH me, but not against me - hehehe! Anyway, who knows, maybe I'll try to pick up rec again in a few months after things have settled down. But I doubt it.

So, after April 2nd, I'm vikingshadow, civilian moderator at SOC/KUSA. It's been great, it's been fun, but it hasn't been great fun! LOL!

chubb0rz
03-12-2006, 06:19 AM
Wow vik, sad to hear ya stop playing but of course it is all for very good reasons. And yea paintball does tend to tie up alot of your time and finances if you are really really involved. But hats off to you for refocusing your life...guess thats what happens when you head over the hill :p

*EM1-Master*
03-12-2006, 06:30 AM
Forget that! Quit teaching and go pro :D

Just messing... It's good that you have your priorities in order. It's also good that you'll be sticking around here... If you ditch out on us though... THEN there will be issues ;)

shunut
03-12-2006, 06:38 AM
Man Vike, that really sucks that you are leaving the game but at the same time good for you. The game will always be there and you can still play rec-ball once in a while if you get the urge. Your family and work are much more important than the game and if its going to make you happier to get out of the game then so be it. I'm sure you will be missed by all your teammates and fans. I'm glad you're sticking around here though. You definitely deserve a big round of applause for all the hard work and dedication that you have put forth.

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

colonel_moo
03-12-2006, 06:39 AM
thats sad to hear, but i understand, and im sure everyone else does too. i cant tell you how many times ive considered quitting paintball. i dont really play anymore, my gear just kinda sits in the corner collecting dust until the few times a year i actually go out and play, but i just cant sell it. two of my friends and ex-teammates have quit paintball to finance their car projects, one of them is seriously considering quitting, and the other few have drifted away from the group. that doesnt leave me with too many people to play with, but i just cant bring myself to quit. paintball is a part of me, ive put so much time and money into it, quitting just doesnt seem right. and i know that if i do sell my gear, i will regret it in a month, and just wish i could go play again.

bamf-hacker
03-12-2006, 06:58 AM
We are losing a friend on the field but we still have him here on the Internet. I am with Shunut and want to give you a round of applause.

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:


Thank you for all of your help and mentoring you have done here for the many who come here for advise.

If you ever decided to go on a road trip with the family to Washington DC, bring your marker, I'll play against you :)

Good luck Vike with all that you do!

HacKeR

DyNasty9
03-12-2006, 07:16 AM
If you ever decided to go on a road trip with the family to Washington DC, bring your marker, I'll play against you :)



HacKeR
noo you cant leave what if my shocker starts acting up agian???:(
but i have faith in the others here:)
round of applause most definatly :applause: :applause:


so your totally giving it up, selling the guns and the gear. idk im going to have to make a prediction and say you cant go 2 months without playing:p :p

but anyway ya im sure anyone on this forum would wana play against you it would be an honor.
good luck vike

03TiburonGT
03-12-2006, 07:37 AM
Sad to see it all end for you vike. I can remember the first couple of times I came to these boards and started asking noob questions and reviving all these old threads. I then remember that you were one of the first to help me out and not flame me for being, well, a noob. I guess that if it isn't fun, and you're spending money to do it, why do it? I think you made a good decision for your situation, but I think you should keep the Sonix or something just in case. Good luck with the next stage in your life

NB_Hacker_NB
03-12-2006, 08:29 AM
Don't know you, but seems you have your life headed in the right direction, good luck on your teaching stuff! :bawling:

QAZ123
03-12-2006, 08:38 AM
Sad to see you go Vike but yeah there's other thing's in life beside's paintball. Heck if you just stated you were quitting paintball to concentrate on running it would be understandable.

I would suggest though to sell off some of your gear but not all of it just to go out every once in a while to recball it or hit up a scenario game sometime.

Good luck with your writing and eveything else you choose to do!

JB.

DRAGON
03-12-2006, 08:38 AM
Boaring! Imma close this :p j/j

All I can say is, you'll be back. I quit for a couple of years before the millinium(haven't heard that term for a while eh?) and had played for 13 years previously. I didn't even have an excuse, I just stopped playing. I think it was because the cost of markers were a bit sickening to me. Pretty much why I hate Angels, they marked the beginning of the rediculously overpriced marker market. Once the Spyder e-markers were released I was back into it full tilt again -

I'm thinking, besides all the other things you've got going for you, the worse thing you ever did was get into tourney play(besides paying $200 for a Sonix lol :D ). Just from your posts here you seemed happier when you still played rec. I saw a serious change in your attitude towards paintball once you got into teams and tournies. It was like you loved the addiction and rush but ran into too many headaches and seems to me got a bit too serious about winning. To me winning is second rate to just playing when you want to and having a good time. No strings attached, no schedules to commit to, no feeling like I have to have a $1000+ marker to make the grade, no feeling like I let someone down because I got tagged(which is a rare occasion anyways), no feeling like someone else let me down because they didn't show up or they got tagged......I suppose I could go on but I'm sure you get the idea. Who knows, some of this may even be a portion of why you seem, fed up - ;)

All I can say is I'm pretty sure you'll be back. Paintball either discourages some right away or becomes an addiction similar to a crack head. Others could become addicted but just can't afford it. I'm thinking you are more in the crack head catagory and as they say, "Once a crack head, always a crack head" - :cool:

Good luck in whatever you decide to do anyways, we'll miss your frequency here. I suppose you're lucky you didn't become an Otter and make an indisposable PB website. You might feel obligated to not letting all your minions down even though you really wanted completely out - ;)

FredPo
03-12-2006, 08:51 AM
Vike, as a psychology major I'm going to advise you to not get rid of your markers. When we feels various emotions, our motivation fluctuates with those emotions. As I read your posts, I seen countless times you said I was sure I was going to quit and then I decided to keep playing. We all are motivated differently at different times but it just seems like a "down" time for you right now and with your "down" time is correlated with less motivation for paintball.
I think Dragon is right in that you'll be back. My advise to you is to take the pressure of yourself to make it big and just enjoy the game. Play in a few tournaments but dont' pressure yourself to go pro.
Despite what I just said, I admire that you want to take initiative with your family and religious life. Amen to that and I think you are on the right track and a good guy for doing this. But I don't think you should quit pb forever, I've seen it spark too much interest in you to just drop it like a bad habit. Just remeber, absence makes the heart grow fonder so maybe after a break, your pb motivation will increase. Best of luck Vike.


fred

marvin-martian
03-12-2006, 08:51 AM
at least youre quitting for something important. my hat goes off.

vikingshadow
03-12-2006, 09:37 AM
Thanks everybody! I would have to say I haven't totally decided to get rid of everything. That's why you haven't seen the Shocker for sale - yet! But in a couple of years, maybe. I need to take a break, and I agree with Dragon. I was happier playing rec - or maybe tournaments - but I HATE the hassle of practice and everything else.

Like I said, I'll be in and out here - I have an obligation as a moderator. But I do like helping everyone out here. I know my family is a bit happier with my decision. Now I just need to suck it up and tell the team.....that's the hard part!

durrell
03-12-2006, 09:48 AM
I too have actually been out of the playing side of the sport for about 6 months now. I've played 1 game in 6 months over Christmas break. I got sick of buying a gun and then selling it when I needed money, so now that business is picking up I'm getting ready to get back into it because I think my dad really views it as a good way for me and him, and my little brother to spend a fun time together with other guys. I too find some marker costs sickening, thus why I try to sell mine as cheap as possible..but you can find a nice gun used on the Nation for cheap..and I don't see reasoning behind having 5 guns..I myself have nothing but a pair of Profilers as far as paintball gear goes right now. I'm looking into another 05 Speed/G7 so hopefully you guys will see me back in here soon...;)

ooglieboogliebob
03-12-2006, 09:50 AM
well vike, im sad to hear your leaving pb ... but i hope you come back

Im sure your team'll understand because it's for a special reason but i just hope you'll reconsider

QAZ123
03-12-2006, 10:20 AM
What happened at the reball field that bothered you if you don't mind me asking?

JB.

lewizz124
03-12-2006, 11:17 AM
wow vike, this is truly a sad day. its good to see a dad quitting something so he can make time for his kids (other thing too i realize), you dont see that much anymore. i know what your saying, ive seen this even in my own life, paintball just consumes me now and occupies all of my time, i cant imagine trying to do that and have a family and be a teacher and all that. well good luck with life.

DFSniper
03-12-2006, 02:07 PM
sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get your life straight... but im with fred, dont sell all your gear. i know how you and durrell feel, since may 9, 2004 (when i moved here) i've played 3 times, and i spend most of my free time on paintball stuff, telling myself im gonna go play (got money stashed away for a new gun, but really want to spend it on some other stuff) and sometimes it just drives you insane. i havent "quit" paintball, but i just havent played a real decent game in what seems like forever.

someday we need to have a Take-Vike-Back-To-The-Woods day!

QAZ123
03-12-2006, 02:19 PM
I've almost quit so many times and in all honesty if it wasn't for stock class play I would be done with paintball.

It kinda sucked for a while as when I first got my Shocker in 04 I would go to the field and the rental recball kid's would not play with me so that kinda stunk but if I played with the experienced tourney baller's I ran into problem's with people's attitude's all the time so it was no fun for a while.


JB.

bigred76
03-12-2006, 05:08 PM
Wow, I didn't know you felt this way, Bryce. I hear your reasons, and I see your logic behind them, and if you feel that it is the right choice, then by all means go for it, and do it with vigilence. I know you aren't convinced very easily, so I wont try to sway you. You'll come back if it is right for you, and if not....you'll still be enjoying life as a father (foremost), teacher, and writer. I hope to see one of your literary works on the shelf at my local library one day. If you do publish, I request being able to send you a copy of it for signing. :)

Peace bro,
-Tim

Recon by Fire
03-12-2006, 08:03 PM
Sorry to hear this Vik; but maybe just consider it cooling off period or a break for now. You may get the itch back. As for the lack of fun; maybe get back to the basics and play some pump woodsball with close friends. Don't dump all your gear anyway, you may need it again :)

ShadowX
03-13-2006, 03:28 AM
man vike this sucks, sometimes i come on the boards early in the morning and its just me and you surfing around, i will miss that, but you do what YOU think is right, but rmember WE will ALL still be here to welcome you back if you decide differently.

give a favor though, KEEP THE SONIX!! lol. that is known board wide on these forums, lol.

DexGtr
03-13-2006, 06:48 AM
i felt the same way too...i was too immersed in it that it took control of me...when my gun fails i feel like i failed and forgot that it was just a game.

I've quit, but I came back as has many others....when you don't go paintballin for a while you'll miss it...but i bet you the next time you pick up a marker you'll have a different outlook on it...kinda like the way i felt whne i came back...it was like this time around i'm just going to have fun and not sweat the small stuff...right now i'm on a mini hiatus...saving up for a PM6 or whatever high end is available at that time...so i don't have to mes with it and mod it and stuff, so that i could just enjoy the game.

so have fun on your "break" we all know you'll be back. We just don't know "when".

durrell
03-13-2006, 07:06 AM
I did sort of the same thing dex is doing, saved up and getting a gun I have always dreamed of..and I'm just going to play and if I don't play I'll shoot it in the backyard lol :p

vikingshadow
03-13-2006, 09:12 AM
You know, yesterday I "had" to go and work at the store for the team (field owner was gone, our captain was gone and since I hadn't resigned from the team yet, I was next in line....)

I had MORE fun yesterday just sitting around bs'ing with the newbs that came in than I have in a year at the field. The ones that had never played at all before. They wanted to know all about the game, and I got to talking to the team members of mine that did come in, and although I'm still quitting the team, and paintball, for a long while, I do understand and feel that I'll probably be back. When, like Dex said, is a mystery. Probably many many months down the road, but when I do come back, it'll be strictly for fun. Even if I go to tournaments, it'll only be for the fun of it.

LOL - what's funny is that I've taken time off to spend with my kids - and it's Spring Break this week - and neither one of them are here and the wife is working.....ain't life funny?

Anyway, like I said, I'll still be coming back to these forums most every day. I like this place WAY to much to quit it. However, when my guns finally sell, I'll stop going to those other places!

Drefish99
03-13-2006, 09:17 AM
This happened to me about 5 years ago. Youíll be back. Paintball is in your blood. If you are anything like me you will probably come back only to play some Rec ball for a while. Rediscover what you first thought of this game when it was FUN. Folks that enter in the full weekend tournament arena tend to get sick of the bull that happens on the Tourney scene and leave the sport all together. Take the hiatus. Then come back but this time have fun. Donít forget to have fun. That is what this sport was developed for. Not to mow faces, or to mow muppets, but for a bunch of friends to have a good time shooting at each other. :)

druid
03-13-2006, 10:15 AM
dude...vike...I have to agree with Fred...while I didn't major in Psychology, it was a core subject for my degree.

Over the last year-or-so, I've been on here reading various posts that you were going to give it up...and you've always bounced back (for one reason or another). Personally, I have observed that during the Winter months you seem to suffer the "winter doldrums" like everyone else...and then when spring is about to roll aroud the corner, you seem to feel the burden of age creeping up on you...
...then Springtime hits and like the hibernating folliage, you seem to 'spring' back to life.
I say, hang onto minimum gear...your favorite marker, pods+harness, pads and a mask and trade/sell the rest. Bank/Paypal the $$ and give it time...you may just change your mind again.

aodsnyper
03-13-2006, 11:20 PM
vik,

as you well know, you will surely be missed... i hope that you find a slice of peace and serenity in your neverending quest for excellence and pursuit of happiness!

justin



p.s. - i hope after all is said and done, you'll have that "time" where you can pick up another hobby, or re-invent yourself in an old one...
;)

Chris Cole
03-14-2006, 05:48 AM
I understand exactly how you feel. When I was playing with the Judges, it felt like I had a second job and an unpaid one at that. After cutting half the team and losing our second sponsor in a matter of months, I kind of drifted around not playing very much.

On a whim in Christmas 03 I played the Toys for Tots draw tourney at Wild West just to see if I still had it, or to go out in a blaze of glory. By a stroke of luck I got put on to the same team as my boy Donkey nd we tore up the joint. After the second game, he pulled me aside and told me I needed to relax and just play for the fun of it because I was too uptight. Now Donkey has played both NPPL and PSP events and has a real chance of playing at much higher levels, so I listen when he talks paintball.

I discovered that I played for the love of the game, not for anything else after that. I played another 3-man tourney this time with the now defunct Premier Paintball and prevailed there as well. Including a handy win over the newly reformed Judges squad.

Vike as you've witnessed, I'm not a great player, but I definitley enjoy myself on the field. Have you ever heard anyone else screaming at the competition to come bunker them?

Being laid up as I have the last 5 months has given me a lot of time to think and I've decided to take paintball as far as I can, because I want no regrets. Take some time-off, shorten your practice schedule and maybe try stepping back into the woods. You've got way too much time, money, sweat, blood, and heart tied into this thing to just walk away. Not to mention, you guys could be competitive at a higher level. That squad could have legitimately placed at Bunkerfest last year in both 3 and 5 man.

Once again, I'll be with you guys in Wichita if you want me for my pod filling experise. Take a couple month hiatus, till the end of the school year, and then only practice every other weekend. That will free up a lot of time and let you re-arrange your priorities. the selfish part in this for me has been doing vigorous painful rehab with the hope of riding the pine for you guys if you do decide to play X-ball. I can find closer teams, I can't find one with more heart. Louie may be the captain, but you're the heart and soul of that team. I know, I saw it.

Keep the faith bro, ad I support you all the way regardless. I'm planning on starting my MCSE tests this summer, so I understand the time payout needed. But I don't get a 3-month vacation. ;)

Oh, and why didnt you tell me you guys were going to the indoor? Now, I have to bonus ball you.

vikingshadow
03-14-2006, 06:09 AM
Wow, thanks Chris! That was really cool of you to say! I never really thought we were that good, especially me. Locally and in small tournaments, yes, but at a level like Bunkerfest? All I can say is Wow! And to say that you'd be happy playing for the team even if it's just sitting the bench, what can I say? I've also never been referred to as the "heart and soul" of anything before. That makes me feel pretty awesome as well.

Sorry about reball - I didn't mention it because I was really having these thoughts before it. I've actually had them for quite awhile - possibly as far back as when you came to play with us, or further. Just seems as though they've resurfaced more frequently lately. I actually didn't think I was going to Reball, but the wife talked me into it last minute. As it is, I probably should have stayed home! LOL!

You're certainly welcome to come to Wichita. Anytime - I still plan on leaving, but you've made me feel like it wasn't a worthless waste of time and money. Thanks for the input - and to all of you the same.

leed
03-15-2006, 05:03 AM
Oh nose!

Vike, you're scaring us all.. But on a serious note, if I can spell after 12 hours of straight online gaming... I know what you mean. I really do, but you'll come back and play some day, maybe not to stay, but just for fun, I mean, it's impossible for you to resist playing paintball at least once more after your retirement in the Paintball Career.

Should you ever publish a book, I will be the first to buy it!

Good Luck on your venture to um.. retirement!

:thumbup:

David

vikingshadow
03-15-2006, 06:26 AM
Thanks leed! I'll keep all you guys in mind when I publish...you're talking to the next Dan Brown, or Stephen King, or "insert name here" LOL!

DFSniper
03-15-2006, 12:59 PM
i do a lot of think (or "mind-wandering" as i like to call it) in my spare time, and i've realized that after not seriously playing for almost a year, just by being on the forums and being around paintball sites my outlook and appreciation for the game had changed when i went out to play. i think i'm a more hard-core player now than when we used to go out to the woods/field every weekend just to shoot each other up.

another thing: if you enjoyed working at the store and being around the noobs, see if you could do that to pick up some extra cash (or be a nice guy and do it for free) on the weekends or something. it'll keep you in the sport (sorta) but wouldnt be as much of a hassle as constantly practicing.

someone said (i think it was QAZ) that when they got their shocker no one wanted to play with them, and i thought "why not just go out and play woods with a spyder and full-camo again?" I think less people would make a big fuss about it if you looked like another average player.

QAZ123
03-15-2006, 01:06 PM
someone said (i think it was QAZ) that when they got their shocker no one wanted to play with them, and i thought "why not just go out and play woods with a spyder and full-camo again?" I think less people would make a big fuss about it if you looked like another average player.

Yep except I just kept to playing speedball but just used a pump instead!

Now I'm at a happy median!

JB.

~shocktheman~
03-16-2006, 08:57 PM
Wowwww....Just got back from being outta town, and Vike's.....well he's....*sniffle*leaving*sniffle* As soon as I saw the title and the who posted it I was saddened. Anyways although I'm sad to hear of your leaving the sport. I'm happy to hear all the good reasons for your decision. Good luck with the next step of your life. Also glad to hear you'll still be around here. IMO you gave a great name too the sport which is saying alot nowadays and hopefully you haven't quit for good. If your ever near Chicago hit me up, and maybe we can play some "real", fun paintball without all the attitudes and pride. God be with you in you search for satisfaction.

Oh and by the way, great to see ya back Shunut, last I heard you were in the hospital. Glad to see you posting here again.
-Lee-

Spinal
03-17-2006, 07:07 AM
you'll be back....they always come back, lol.

DFSniper
03-19-2006, 12:11 PM
:stupid:

yeah, thats what i always used to say.

thechubbss12
03-19-2006, 02:36 PM
Heh well if you ever want to reball again talk to me i will meet you at Adventure World (reball center) in OKC.

Sad to see a good old man go (heh no pun)