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View Full Version : Update on my mother.


Ace24
08-27-2008, 11:32 PM
Things keep getting worse. Right now her vision on the right side, in relation to out of the corner of her eye*, is completely gone. She's having trouble with her right side of her body as well. It's become slightly paralyzed and she is having difficulty walking. It has kept getting worse this past week and she said God finally told her that she's going to heaven. Hasn't given her a specific date, so we're still praying. We're also praying that if she goes, that it be a painless death. That she would go quickly. My brother and sister had to sign the "Do not recessitate" form today. :(

I came home to my sister crying on the porch and sat down next to her and held her and cried myself. Then her fiance came up and did the same... It's so hard... and we're all being strong in front of her. Not letting her worry about us. I broke down the other day (my birthday in fact) and just bawled. It all caught up to me what was happening and the reality hit me like a brick wall.

I don't honestly know how I'm going to do school if my mother goes. It's going to be so ****ing hard to concentrate when I'm grieving. I also can't miss many days of class due to my scholarship. They're paying for everything, including my books... but I can't miss more then 3 days a semester, or my seat is given to someone on the waiting list. As it is, I can't sleep... and it makes it so hard to wake up... and when I'm sleepy, I can't concentrate.

If she goes... I do know what my first tattoo is going to be. :(

It's horrible how terrible things always happen to the best people. My mother did nothing but help others and serve God her entire life. She always put everyone before her self, she always helped as much as she could... and she gets ****ed with this. It's just not fair. Why should God take someone so important... so special, and so kind away from everyone that loves her? I know there is a reason for everything... but it's just so freaking hard to deal with. She's only 61... It isn't her time to go.

I've been so strong in front of her... but the other day when I had to babysit her, and I told her I loved her, and I held her... I just started crying... I prayed to stop... and I did and strengthened back up before releasing her, so she couldn't see. Rika can't believe how strong I am. She keeps holding me and telling me how incredible it is... Maybe I can share some of that strength with her, and help her cope with things better. Hopefully, she'll see that it's not my strength, but God's that keeping me from going insane. I want to tell her so bad, but I don't want to preach.


*couldn't think of the word

Sandman_Bravo
08-28-2008, 03:06 AM
I'm sorry to hear of your bad news. When my father passed away, I found a great deal of comfort in the fact that this is only the beginning of a greater journey, and that I WOULD see him again. I wish only the best for you and your family, and have you in my prayers.

Jegger24
08-28-2008, 04:38 AM
So sorry to hear of this Ace. I will keep your mother and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.

irishwarrior
08-28-2008, 06:32 AM
This must be hard on you and your family, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

STRIKEFIRST
08-28-2008, 06:50 AM
Ted, My granny had brain cancer...I won't lie...it doesn't get easier...it seemed though my granny wasn't really in pain...but she was frustrated and toward the end she really wasn't "all there".

The last time I spoke to her she told me she'd see me on Friday (it was funny cause she didn't know what day it was) but she was right and we saw her on Friday because on Friday God called her home.

It sounds like your Mom has given you all the strength you'll need to get through school and keep your scholarship. Just do it for her. She'll always be with you.

interceptorMR2
08-28-2008, 10:57 AM
hey man stay strong, I'm sorry to hear all that has happened. Your mother, you, and your family are in my prayers. yeah just remember to do what your mother would want you to do, stay strong and pull through, try to concentrate as best you can, not for the scholarship or anything like that, but do it for her. She will never be absent in your life, she will stay with you no matter what.

Critical
08-28-2008, 01:51 PM
Definitely stay strong. One, she's not gone yet, instead of focusing so much on what you're going to do if she goes, focus on how you can make each day you have with her special. And, who knows, stranger things have happened. Two, I'm not the most religious of people, but maybe God loves her so much that he needs her by his side, and he knows how strong she's made her family, and how they will go out and spread the word about this wonderful woman, and in doing so, spread His word.

Just something to think about.

xsvly-fat
08-28-2008, 02:35 PM
I am so sorry to hear that, I know anything that I can say is so meaningless but you just have to stay strong, only God knows when her time will, I know it maybe hard but just continue to trust in Him and believe that He knows whats going to happen

slim and shady
08-28-2008, 03:54 PM
I am so sorry to hear that, I know anything that I can say is so meaningless but you just have to stay strong, only God knows when her time will, I know it maybe hard but just continue to trust in Him and believe that He knows whats going to happen

^ I dont think that I could sum up what im thinking any better then this. Stay strong Ted were all here if you need us. just ask.

DRAGON
08-28-2008, 04:48 PM
Things keep getting worse. Right now her vision on the right side, in relation to out of the corner of her eye*, is completely gone. She's having trouble with her right side of her body as well. It's become slightly paralyzed and she is having difficulty walking. It has kept getting worse this past week and she said God finally told her that she's going to heaven. Hasn't given her a specific date, so we're still praying. We're also praying that if she goes, that it be a painless death. That she would go quickly. My brother and sister had to sign the "Do not recessitate" form today. :(

I came home to my sister crying on the porch and sat down next to her and held her and cried myself. Then her fiance came up and did the same... It's so hard... and we're all being strong in front of her. Not letting her worry about us. I broke down the other day (my birthday in fact) and just bawled. It all caught up to me what was happening and the reality hit me like a brick wall.

I don't honestly know how I'm going to do school if my mother goes. It's going to be so ****ing hard to concentrate when I'm grieving. I also can't miss many days of class due to my scholarship. They're paying for everything, including my books... but I can't miss more then 3 days a semester, or my seat is given to someone on the waiting list. As it is, I can't sleep... and it makes it so hard to wake up... and when I'm sleepy, I can't concentrate.

If she goes... I do know what my first tattoo is going to be. :(

It's horrible how terrible things always happen to the best people. My mother did nothing but help others and serve God her entire life. She always put everyone before her self, she always helped as much as she could... and she gets ****ed with this. It's just not fair. Why should God take someone so important... so special, and so kind away from everyone that loves her? I know there is a reason for everything... but it's just so freaking hard to deal with. She's only 61... It isn't her time to go.

I've been so strong in front of her... but the other day when I had to babysit her, and I told her I loved her, and I held her... I just started crying... I prayed to stop... and I did and strengthened back up before releasing her, so she couldn't see. Rika can't believe how strong I am. She keeps holding me and telling me how incredible it is... Maybe I can share some of that strength with her, and help her cope with things better. Hopefully, she'll see that it's not my strength, but God's that keeping me from going insane. I want to tell her so bad, but I don't want to preach.


*couldn't think of the word

We could tell you all types of things but your strength must come from within -

I'm saddened to hear the turmoil you and your family are experiencing right now. Don't be afraid to weep with others. It's a built in release valve and there for a purpose. Holding it in will only intensify your current state of anguish -

I'm proud you've brought your concerns to us as it illustartes the family environment this place really is. Another good medium of venting which it sounds you need. Chin up and I hope whatever becomes of this, you can find the strength to move forward without too many difficulties -

Far as your scholarship goes, I'm sure they'll understand. You might mention what trials you're currently going through to the appropriate department at your school or scholarship fund office. I'm sure they can assist you with suggestions of a temp resolve. Tell them everything you mentioned here. I would do that now, not after something that may possibly happen in the future that could possibly ruin what you have going for you now -

Thank you for sharing this with us -

TheDarkShadow
08-28-2008, 05:05 PM
I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said, you, your mother and family in my thoughts and prayers

Ace24
08-29-2008, 06:41 AM
Thank you for sharing this with us -

You're welcome.

Thank you everyone. This forum is like my second home and you all are like family to me. I will do my best to stay strong and keep with school. Your prayers are all very appreciated.

DFSniper
08-29-2008, 02:38 PM
ted, i've been trying to think of something that hasn't already been said, and i think i've found it. in the event that something does happen, don't give up on school. try your hardest and whenever it gets tough, just remember that you're doing it for her.

Modded-Like-Hell
08-30-2008, 10:01 PM
damn man, i sorry to hear that especially that its ur mom, dont think negative, i would also do anything thing for my mom, ill be praying

Ace24
09-01-2008, 12:16 AM
I need to vent... No one is awake, now I'm in pain both physically and emotionally and I won't be sleeping again for another few hours.

So... I get home around midnight, took a shower (got off work and went out to eat with Matt and Timm before Matt had to move to CA), and got to bed around 1AM.

Apparently some time between 1 and 3 my dad came in and woke me up. I remember him opening the door... but I guess I thought I was dreaming it due to being in a deep sleep. He then came up again and found my C.E.R.T. hard hat and threw it at my spine as hard as he could to wake me up. This woke me... obviously and he yelled at me and told me to get downstairs that there was an emergency with my mother. So I get up and follow him down.

We get to the bathroom and my mother is hunched over next to the bath tub. It's as much as I can do to keep from breaking down at that point. We pick her up and put her in the wheelchair and my dad just starts freaking out on me for no reason, threatening to punch me in the face, making threatening movements towards me and calling me stupid. Because of his negligence of maintaining the bathroom tile, we have a few tiles in a patch coming up and apparently they were sticking to my mothers feet and his, so naturally, it's my fault. He yells at me to fix the tiles and when I ignore it because I'm more concerned about my mother, he responds with "Fix this or I'm going to swat you." Followed by another obscene gesture to attack me.

I crouch down and arrange the tiles as he gets her on the toilet and then he asks me to leave the room because she needs to be washed. I go out to the hallway and try to hold it together... I sort of did... breaking down a couple times and then straightening myself out again. I don't want my dad to see me cry because either he'll become even more abusive or he'll break down as well and I can't have him do that when he needs to be strong. I have to be strong for everyone right now and it's so hard. My father admitted to me the other day about how when they removed his pituitary gland, he lost the control over his emotions. He breaks down very easily now if he doesn't keep his mind on other things. (For those that don't know, my father had a brain tumor the size of an ostrich egg on his pituitary gland. Had it removed.)

I just... need a shoulder to cry on. Timm is here sleeping again and I don't want to wake him... Rika is asleep and there is no way I can see her tonight... and I am not going near my dad, in fear of being abused again. I could tolerate the abuse growing up... but during these circumstances, I can't handle it. I'll break and end up putting him in the hospital if he raises his hand to me again. I don't know if I should cry or keep it in, or if I'm even capable of crying right now.

I just had to vent this out before I explode.




...and my spine hurts like hell now :dodgy:

STRIKEFIRST
09-02-2008, 07:43 PM
I've been on that abusive end...hang tough for your Mom...there will be plenty of time for you to straighten your Dad out later. Just don't let him hurt you.

Ace24
09-07-2008, 04:14 PM
She’s getting better!
It's amazing! She was getting worse and worse and kept creeping closer to death, then she said, "I told God that I had given up. I wanted him to do what he wished with me and I was done taking the medication that kept making me feel sicker."

After she said that, she started feeling better. The past three days have shown incredible improvement! The first day she got out of bed and started moving around the house, needing the aid of the wheelchair from time to time. The next day she was able to move on her own. Slowly she'd make her way up and down the stairs and around the house. Now today, the third day, she's starting to become more clear mentally and is starting to notice an improvement in her eyesight. She went to Church today! She actually got out of the house and went somewhere!

I can't believe it! There is a God... There is no way to explain this besides it being God healing her. She hasn't taken any chemo, hasn't taken any medication (besides morphine for her headache, that she has stopped) and she's getting better!

I'm curious to know if the tumor is shrinking.

I'll keep everyone updated, but as of right now, I am at a loss of words.

SpyderMan723
09-07-2008, 04:35 PM
:applause: Yay!!! I'm happy for you ted!

TheDarkShadow
09-07-2008, 05:01 PM
I'm really glad to hear that Ted

badlandsrox
09-07-2008, 05:19 PM
Wow, I dont even know what to say to that, thats unbeleiveable, and unbeleivebly great at the same time, I'm happy for you, your mom and your family, and keep it up what you guys are doing, it's obviously helping her!

Ace24
09-07-2008, 05:21 PM
Thats the thing... the only thing we can and have been doing to help her is assist her to the bathroom, feed her, and the nurses have been washing her and stuff. Thats it!

God's the one who is really helping her.

xsvly-fat
09-07-2008, 08:00 PM
All you have to do is put your trust in God and see what it does! I am so glad to here about that and I hope she continues to get better, I'll still be praying for all of you but just remember to always believe that God can do anything

STRIKEFIRST
09-08-2008, 08:45 AM
That's great news Ted

Ace24
09-12-2008, 01:40 PM
Today we decided to celebrate it with her. We all gathered around her bed, where she lie, and brought in cupcakes with candles in them. We sang to her and then blew out the candles after she made a wish. She wished for our happiness.

We all sat down and started going through the presents with her, slowly opening the cards first. My father went first, reading off the card to her. In it, he had how all he wanted was to see her smile, that he loves her and will always love her for eternity, and he started crying. It was so hard. Then went my sister, then my brother, followed by their presents and then I went last.

I could barely talk as it was... and then I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I started bawling and dropped my head onto her shoulders. It's so ****ing hard to lose your mother... especially when you've only had her for 19 years. I'm too young to have her leave like this... and she's not old enough to die. Tomorrow she turns 62 (as far as I remember... I'm horrible with numbers) and that isn't old enough at all. I told her how much I love her and kissed her head. I then proceeded to the card.

The cover of the card read: "Did you make a wish?" "I did."

On the inside it said, "I wished for your happiness, for you to remember the good times we've had, the memories you've made and how much I love you."

I signed it and followed it with, "I have everyone I know praying for you. I love you so much."

I had all I could do just to get that out. Then she told us what she wanted for her birthday. She said that she wanted to go in her sleep. That she wanted to go without pain and suffering and that she wanted to just go to sleep tonight and not wake up. She made us pray that she would go soon and that it would be in this fashion. That was such a hard prayer to pray.

It's been such a depressing day.

nastystankweed
09-12-2008, 02:36 PM
Im so sorry to hear that Ace. I really feel for you your family and your mother. I will be praying for you guys. No matter what stay strong and remember that god has a plan for all of us. God bless you and your family.

STRIKEFIRST
09-12-2008, 05:01 PM
Hang in there Ted

durrell
09-12-2008, 05:22 PM
Best way to think about it is if she does go, she's in a much better place and out of pain. However, it is hard for us as humans to accept that at first.

Hang in there bro, you and your family are in my prayers. Everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan and a purpose for everything.

If you get too depressed, you might try turning to Psalms and reading a bit. They are full of uplifting passages and moments where David cries out to God. :)

TheDarkShadow
09-14-2008, 06:10 AM
your family is still in my prayers

my dad lost his dad when he was 15 and he has no brothers, so he was the only guy in the house

Ace24
09-14-2008, 07:34 AM
I'm grateful that I've got a brother and sister.

Well, she's moving around today, slowly, now that she's back taking her pain meds. You can tell she's still declining though. She's losing a lot of weight and isn't clear much at all anymore.

Modded-Like-Hell
09-18-2008, 02:46 PM
damn... we all feel for you...

STRIKEFIRST
09-19-2008, 05:13 AM
Hang in there.

Ace24
09-20-2008, 07:48 AM
My mother, as of Thursday evening, is in the early stages of a coma. She is somewhat responsive to touch and she can hear us... she was even talking to someone at one point... but she can't move her eyes or neck. She twitches from time to time and can't really wake up...

It's very scary. Horrible thing to come home to on Thurs after such a nice day. She's not showing any progress on coming out of it either. My guess is that this will be the last week. I've already missed a day of school on Friday because of this. Thankfully, work got my mind off things last night, but it doesn't help to come home to the stress again.

I'm so depressed. I just want all this to end. I told her it was OK to let go, and how much we all love her. I just don't want to see her suffer.

DFSniper
09-20-2008, 08:08 AM
i'll keep praying for your family.

TheDarkShadow
09-21-2008, 06:29 AM
that is horrible, you/your mother and family will be in my thoughts and prayers

xsvly-fat
09-21-2008, 08:04 PM
I will be praying for all of you. I don't know what to say to make you feel better and I feel horrible about it, I just hope that things turn out ok, I know it must be the hardest thing in the world to lose someone that you love with all of your heart but just hang in there and keep on trusting that God knows what is best.