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View Full Version : Hardest decision I've ever made...


shunut
04-30-2008, 06:14 PM
Today, I got a call from UCSD (University of California San Diego). They had lungs for me. Unfortunately, it took about 45 minutes for them to get a hold of me, I was in my backyard listening to music. I ended up turning them down, probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I turned them down for 2 reasons. First, I only had 2 hours to get there and that was pushing it. I didn't want to not make it in time and have the lungs go to waste. Second, and probably the biggest reason, I just wasn't ready. My mom called me and told me and I froze. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't get myself going. I don't know why, I really thought I was ready for it. I'm still shaking and I turned the lungs down almost 2 hours ago. The last time I went to the transplant clinic the doctor said he'd be okay waiting 2,3,4,5 years, so when the call came today, I shocked. Maybe this will be a reality check and the next time they call I won't freak out so bad.

Hopefully there was someone else who was ready and got some new lungs.

This is like my second home so I thought I'd share with you guys.

slim and shady
04-30-2008, 06:18 PM
Gee Shunt im sorry to here that. Thats a trippy story. I dont know what else to say besides im sure you will be in our Prayrs.

SpyderMan723
04-30-2008, 06:24 PM
It must be nerve-wracking hearing that out of the blue. I would be just as shocked as well, surgery makes me queezy :(

XSiv Force
04-30-2008, 06:26 PM
sorry to hear that

MVS1
04-30-2008, 06:27 PM
Brother, I feel for ya. I can't imagine what that must be like for you having never been in your particular place, but I think I have an idea. Your mentally ready right up until the time comes and then every fiber inside you is screaming that you can't do it, for me it was the first time I faced going into combat, deploying to Afganistan right after 9/11, scarred to death of what awaited me and whether or not I could do it and more importantly if I could lead my troops, my friends, there and get them back home safe, which pales in comparison to what your having to go through. Courage brother, and like many others that have offered, you ever need anything, place to stay, transportation, whatever, it's yours.

DFSniper
04-30-2008, 06:31 PM
wow, took my internet about 2 minutes to open this page, but as soon as i moused over the thread and read that you got a call, i knew what happened...

and i agree with you, hopefully someone else got them.

i know how serious your condition is, but look on the bright side, if you can wait 2-5 years, you cant be in that bad of a shape!

SpyderMan723
04-30-2008, 06:32 PM
i know how serious your condition is, but look on the bright side, if you can wait 2-5 years, you cant be in that bad of a shape!

:yeahthat:

irishwarrior
04-30-2008, 06:38 PM
:yeahthat: I hope you don't have to wait that long though.

shunut
04-30-2008, 07:36 PM
Thanks guys. I really honestly thought I was ready, not sure if you are ever 100% ready for this but I thought I was ready enough. My family and I sat down and wrote out a plan of what needs to happen next time they call. That way I can just pick up that card and do what it says. Now I kind of wish I had gone, but its easy to say that because nothing will change.

vwjimmy
04-30-2008, 08:21 PM
It will come again Brother, and now you have a better set of tools for dealing with the call, the ride, and the rest. When it is time...you will know it in your mind and your heart.
Whatever you do, do not get bent out of shape because it didn't work out this time....your time is coming!

slim and shady
04-30-2008, 08:25 PM
^ well put Jimmy.

XSiv Force
04-30-2008, 08:25 PM
We did the same thing for my ucle, he had always had heart issues and any time we got a call we had a bag loaded with the stuff he need next to the door so at a moents notice we could go

STRIKEFIRST
04-30-2008, 09:31 PM
Thanks guys. I really honestly thought I was ready, not sure if you are ever 100% ready for this but I thought I was ready enough. My family and I sat down and wrote out a plan of what needs to happen next time they call. That way I can just pick up that card and do what it says. Now I kind of wish I had gone, but its easy to say that because nothing will change.

The plan was a great idea. Just pray about it. That's the best advice I can give.

And remember Celine will send "her" angel to watch out for you.;)

big_daddy_d
05-01-2008, 12:19 AM
glad the call came through for you, but you have to do what right for you! When you're ready I'm sure you'll make it happen! If you need anything please let me know!

Hossy
05-01-2008, 04:40 AM
Glad that you got a chance Josh!
It will come again, and after youll be good as new!

shunut
05-01-2008, 02:19 PM
I just spoke with a social worker at UCSD. She said my reaction was typical and not to worry to much about it.

Also, somebody else got the lungs and he is doing great.

DFSniper
05-01-2008, 02:35 PM
thats great to hear!

TheDarkShadow
05-01-2008, 02:58 PM
glad they weren't wasted

HelpDeskHustler
05-02-2008, 03:51 AM
Good to hear at least that much, it really would have sucked to have them go to waste. I hope you get that call again and don't have to turn it down.

shunut
05-02-2008, 07:27 AM
Thanks guys, I really appreciate the support.

Ace24
05-02-2008, 09:10 AM
Sometimes it takes the reality of the situation to wake you up to what's really going to happen. I think you might have been ready... just... scared? For good reason too... I know I would be.

I don't know what it's like to get a transplant or go through surgery, but one of my close friends had a liver transplant when he was younger. He, like you, was waiting on a liver... and the same thing happened. They got the call and he froze. Luckily, he was young... so his wonderful mother was there to coax him through it and they got it done.

He's still alive today, out living all the children that got liver transplants at his age. He's had it rough, but he's going strong.

I pray for the best for you. Good luck in the future when that second call comes in! I'm sure you'll be ready then. :)