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bigred76
04-20-2008, 12:35 AM
Been a horrible, horrible day. Cheri's mom got home last night at about 2am (I was up still trying to fix a modem issue, we were expecting her back on Saturday from her vacation). First words out of her mouth were "it's bad, Tim, it's bad...." That barely begins to describe it.

Cheri's aunt, Debbie, died of a recreational (illegal) drug overdose sometime on Friday afternoon. We had to wake Cheri up to tell her, and I only got about three or four hours worth of sleep, and had to get up for a job orientation the next day (yesterday now, Saturday).

Full story came out then that Debbie had gone on another drug binge (she has been a habitual drug abuser since High School, and she was nearly 40), and had gone to a baseball game that was not going on on Wednesday (this is all in San Mateo, by the way, where the majority of Cheri's family lives). She called her cousin Ralphie to come pick her up, as she usually did when she was drunk. Ralphie assumed that this was the case, and picked her up from the baseball field and took her to his house for some coffee and they talked for a couple hours.

Ralphie then took Debbie home to her parents (Cheri's grandparents) house where she was staying while they were away due to a plumbing issue at her house. Ralphie tucked her in for the night and made sure she was good, then went home. The next day, Thursday, Debbie did not show up to work. Cheri's great grandma, Grandma Bre, owns the tow truck company that most of the family works at (the exception being Cheri and her mom). When Debbie did not come to work or answer phone calls, they assumed that she was hung over or the like as is sometimes the norm for her. When she did not show up the next day, as she normally does, Grandma Bre flipped out and called Mike, Debbie's brother who takes care of the other trucking company (they own two), to check on Debbie.

Mike drove to his parent's house and sure enough, Debbie's car was outside. He went into the house, calling her name, and when he found her dead, he called 911. The family that was in the area was called and convened at Mike's house. Cheri's other aunt, Bobbie Jean, drove down from Windsor (about 2hrs North of San Mateo) as fast as she could get her son out of the house and over to her friends across the street while she came down. The family that had congregated decided it was best that Cindy, Cheri's mom, know in person, so they sent a couple people up 4hrs away to Grass Valley (at about 4pm) where she was spending time with her other grandmother, Grandma Betty. Cindy packed her bags and was driven back down while one person stayed behind (I forget who the pair they sent was, some cousins) to watch over Grandma Betty and make sure she was alright. After the 4hr drive back down (now it was about 12pm), she found out the whole story, then drove the hour back down to San Jose, when I learned of it.

Today, we drove to San Mateo for Cheri's Aunt Cheryl's birthday party that was still going to occur. The entire family is either extremely pissed off that Debbie was as stupid that she was (this was the kind of thing that they were just waiting to get the phone call for), or extremely emotional and crying. Cheri is one of the latter, and I have been trying to console her ever since yesterday morning when we had to wake her up to tell her. I personally deal with death differently, and some would even call it "well." I'm not emotionally choked up about it. Debbie was a wonderful woman, and I enjoyed her company. I would even go to the point that I loved her, as a family loves one another. I will miss her dearly, but there is nothing I can do at this point, much like when King David's first son by Bathsheba was killed by God.

Cheri's grandparents were on a cruise, and told over the phone. They could not convince the cruise line to let them leave early off the ship via helicopter, so they are waiting until Monday when they are leaving their bags (being shipped to them later on) at the ship so they do not have to deal with Customs as they would with bags because they went to a foreign country -- Mexico. The situation has pretty much stabilized out until then, I think, but the going's going to be rough for the next week. When Cheri's grandparents make it in, I'm assuming that hell will break loose again, but I can only hope that it wont.

Why am I posting? Cheri's family needs prayer. I need prayer. Badly. I'm sore, tired, and sick, and Cheri has left an almost permanent wet spot on my shoulder the entire day. I greatly appreciate any prayers sent our way, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I have to get up in the morning early to head off to San Mateo again to check on the family in a non-party setting, so I have to try to get some sleep now. If I'm on AIM sometime this week, you can talk to me there, but I'm not going to be on the forums much.

Thank you again for your prayers and thoughts,
-Tim

durrell
04-20-2008, 12:47 AM
You guys will be in my prayers, man. Death is tough to deal with, so don't keep it all bottled up even if she wasn't "family", per say.

DFSniper
04-20-2008, 04:02 AM
consider it done.

i knew something was up when you weren't on AIM.

"Remain standing in memory of our comrades who have passed from their earthly reward. Let us stand for a period of simple silence, a silence as deep as death, for in that period will be thoughts and feelings too deep for words." Rabbi Aaronsohn

STRIKEFIRST
04-20-2008, 10:34 AM
You got it Tim.

VS3 Sniper
04-20-2008, 11:36 AM
I will keep you/cheri/her family in my prayers. I'll be on aim so if u need someone to talk to just hit me up.

xsvly-fat
04-20-2008, 01:17 PM
i will be praying for all of you

LostCause
04-20-2008, 01:43 PM
your in my prayers mate. Though rember, she is in a better place now.

big_daddy_d
04-20-2008, 01:56 PM
Sorry to hear about the bad news. Definitely keep you all in our thoughts. Keep us all posted. I'm sure things seem rough now but try to have your gf focus on the positive aspects of her aunts life and not dwell on the negative way of her passing. If you need to vent just let me know

pbgrandpa
04-20-2008, 02:25 PM
Sorry to here this. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.

bigred76
04-20-2008, 04:08 PM
I will keep you/cheri/her family in my prayers. I'll be on aim so if u need someone to talk to just hit me up.
Thanks Andy!

Though rember, she is in a better place now.
I can only hope so. Based on her life style, I'm betting that she was not Saved, and thus not in "the better place." I'm hoping for my sake as well as all other Christians that that hope, that faith in God, is real, and is enough to validate my entry. For her sake, I can only hope that in her last moments she came to Christ, and is in that better place.

I'm sure things seem rough now but try to have your gf focus on the positive aspects of her aunts life and not dwell on the negative way of her passing.
Whenever she thinks of the good times, she just breaks out crying again. Cheri is not one who takes it easily or "well," she is a very fragile, emotional soul. :(


Thank you all for your prayers and support!

TheDarkShadow
04-20-2008, 06:32 PM
that's rough dude, death's crazy, one minute it's a regular day, goin a little rough and bam the unexpected happens you don't beleive it, it doesnt hit you for a second, then it's like damn, I'm never gonna see them ever agian...

durrell
04-20-2008, 11:06 PM
We aren't guaranteed tomorrow.

That's why I try to keep my life as right as possible with the Man Upstairs..I'd rather live my life believing there is a God than believing there isn't only to die and find out there really is.

But I know there is, because I've seen Him do some amazing things that can only be explained as being of Him.

It's unfortunate she lived the way she did because it would appear she probably didn't make it to Heaven. But if she didn't, don't let her death be in vain. Let it serve as a reminder for how you should try not to live..

TheDarkShadow
04-21-2008, 01:57 PM
remember God is all loving and forgiving

king-man
04-21-2008, 06:34 PM
We aren't guaranteed tomorrow.

Thats why i live by this "Live everyday like it is your las, because one day it will be." Also, sorry tim, youll be in my prayers, and all of cheri's family.

MVS1
04-21-2008, 07:14 PM
Tim, sorry too read this post, and my prayers are with you and the loved ones that have to endure this hardship. Unfortunately you can't make someone that dies in this manner understand the grief they will leave the ones they love with after they are gone, because hopefully it would have made a difference or helped them to decide to put the drugs behind them for the sake of the ones that loved them so much and done something better with their lives.

bigred76
04-22-2008, 12:06 AM
We aren't guaranteed tomorrow.

That's why I try to keep my life as right as possible with the Man Upstairs..I'd rather live my life believing there is a God than believing there isn't only to die and find out there really is.

But I know there is, because I've seen Him do some amazing things that can only be explained as being of Him.

It's unfortunate she lived the way she did because it would appear she probably didn't make it to Heaven. But if she didn't, don't let her death be in vain. Let it serve as a reminder for how you should try not to live..

So true, Doc. :)

remember God is all loving and forgiving

And thank Him He is! If he weren't, even I'd be ****ed. Heck, everyone would.

Thats why i live by this "Live everyday like it is your las, because one day it will be." Also, sorry tim, youll be in my prayers, and all of cheri's family.

"Carpe diem." Thanks for the kind words, Dillon!


Smitty... you almost made me cry. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts!


A brief update: On Saturday night everything went without a hitch until the end when a drunkard made a fool of himself, and was quickly escorted out by a bunch of us fairly quickly. Cheryl (the aunt who's birthday it was) was taking it really well and helping the family keep it all together. She normally is very self-centered, so it's brought out a lot of good in her.

Sunday morning I stayed at home while Cheri and her mom went to church (I'm not fond of their church they go to, anyways, but that's another issue entirely), and was waiting for Cheri's aunt Bobbie Jean to come down with Cheri's cousin Jacob. Bobbie Jean and some others in the family went over to Cheri's grandparents house to clean up all the drug paraphernalia so that they would not have to deal with it and see it first hand when they got home, and they also moved Debbie's truck somewhere else. When Bobbie Jean got back, the women (Cheri, Cheri's mom, and Bobbie Jean) took Jacob out to Dave & Busters to celebrate his birthday -- a day early, his birthday was actually today, Monday -- while I took a nap... running on a small amount of sleep and then trying to babysit wasn't doing me too well. When I woke up, we went out for Jacob's birthday dinner. We weren't sure if we'd get a chance to today.

Today Cheri only went to her last class which she had to be there for while I tried to get some sleep after the damned cat wouldn't leave me the **** alone for some sleep last night. POS will get her vocal cords cut out if it keeps it up. I missed 2 classes today which I shouldn't have because of her. :mad: After Cheri got back from school we went back up to San Mateo to find out what Cheri's mom had been up to up there all day, as Cheri's grandparents just got back in. Cheri's family had been busy all day trying to decide what to do with Debbie's body, and has come to the conclusion that she will be buried in a location in the local cemetery named Buena Vista (Cheri's family grew up on a street by the same name) that looks like a campground (Debbie loved camping). They also had been to the coroner's office, and the autopsy and investigation thus far has revealed that Debbie had been drinking, had cocaine ("coke" for you slang people) in her purse and in the room, and showed signs of pneumonia. Not a full blown case, but enough to make her feel ****ty. One guess of how she actually died is that the pneumonia mixed with the alcohol caused her to vomit, and the cocaine and alcohol mixture caused her to not be able to get to a position she could vomit, and she suffocated. That's only a preliminary guess, the tox screen is still out right now.

The family also decided that Thursday will be the... wake, memorial, whatever the hell they call those things, and I'm invited as a family member for the viewing of the open casket. I don't really know why, but I know Cheri'll need me there. The full ceremony/memorial/wake will take place afterwards, with the casket closed. Friday morning will be a short thing before they put her casket into the grave.

Thanks again everyone for the prayers... hopefully the rest of this week goes semi-smooth and life will get back on track soon. :( I'm trying to be on as much as I can to keep up with all the questions, so thanks from me to those veterans who have stepped up to the plate and are answering most of them! It's much appreciated by me at least, as I hate to see the newer players here neglected. Again... thanks to everyone! I'm gonna shut up and read some Whiteboard and hit the sack before I start rambling or something... :dodgy:

DFSniper
04-22-2008, 05:01 AM
I'm trying to be on as much as I can to keep up with all the questions, so thanks from me to those veterans who have stepped up to the plate and are answering most of them! It's much appreciated by me at least, as I hate to see the newer players here neglected. Again... thanks to everyone! I'm gonna shut up and read some Whiteboard and hit the sack before I start rambling or something... :dodgy:

looks like i'll have to start pulling some more weight, but thats fine by me ;)

DisIsMyUsername
04-22-2008, 06:48 AM
remember God is all loving and forgiving

TROOF IN THIS QUOTE 100%


But as it's been said she's in a better place now, looking out for her family and you.

You and Cheri's family are in my thoughts and prayers Tim.

bigred76
04-23-2008, 11:10 PM
Thanks Sascha and Ricky... It means a lot to me.

Tomorrow's gonna be one loooooooong day... I'm helping Cheri's mom out at the church she works for (secretary) tomorrow morning until 3, then we're going back to the house to wait for Cheri to get back from school. Then we're off to be up in San Mateo by 4:30 for the memorial/wake/funeral/whatever. The thing opens for the public at 6:30, so we're going to be there FOREVER. We, as a family (plus me (:D) and Chris, Debbie's closest friend since they were in High School together) are going to go to dinner. No clue when that's going to be over, but it's going to be hell to drive there and back with Cheri, she's not going to take it so well.