View Full Version : Official "I suck with technology" Thread

01-20-2008, 09:10 AM
This thread was designed to be a placeholder for technology based tutorials. Each Tutorial that is posted in here, will be linked to in this main post.

Technology is the new air. It's everywhere, and if you don't like it, tough. If you can generally get along with it, you might have a fun time! If you have a question, ask it. If you have an answer, PLEASE... WRITE A FULL TUTORIAL for it, it will make things simpler in the long run.

How to post a good tutorial in this thread (http://www.spyder.tv/forums/showpost.php?p=178486&postcount=2)
A brief summary of avoiding computer viruses. (http://www.spyder.tv/forums/showpost.php?p=178493&postcount=3)

01-20-2008, 09:13 AM
This tutorial is for those wishing to find out the proper way to post a tutorial in this thread.

Click “reply” and Go into advanced mode.
Make a Good title.
Address what the tutorial is for
Post steps in a listed manner.
Make the steps clear
Don’t have any large “figure this part out” gaps.
Spell Check your work
Include relevant pictures or screen shots
Don’t make the last two steps “???” and “Profit”

01-20-2008, 10:01 AM
This tutorial is for people wondering how they should avoid getting computer viruses. There are a few different methods.

The Skeptic Solution: This solution will teach you how to be skeptical on the internet as a practice, and discern possible viruses or breaching techniques from legitimate websites.

Learn quickly who your computer-stupid friends are. Treat anything they send you over the computer as if it were going to kill you. Never open their links. EVER. Ask them what it is, and pretend like you opened it to be polite, or don't.
Get a new email client. I recommend Gmail. www.gmail.com
Block any email address that has never sent you anything useful (for private email addresses only - work related might get you in trouble). No, Chain letters and sappy stories that have been forwarded 1000 times are not useful. Delete it all.
Stop opening spam. You're stupid if you open spam. There are no such thing as rich Nigerian princes, porn is better outside of emails, Viagra is better when purchased from one side of a counter, where on the otherside is somebody certified in SOMETHING. Delete it all.
Learn what an attachment is, and how you can tell if an email has it. Stop opening emails that have them unless you specifically know what it is, and why it's being sent(unless either of those reasons is because it's a virus).
Stop using file shares. Stop. Seriously. Get a job, or become more internet savvy and find new ways. I don't care. Limewire and every other crap file share system will give you a computer virus. STOP.
Don't be an ass on the internet. Especially if you didn't know any of the last steps out of common sense. Chances are, if you are here, you have already put enough information about yourself online to be tracked down and humiliated. The internet will do it to you if you are in ass on some websites.
Stop being stupid. Seriously. It's very easy to give a stupid person a virus or steal your password because you don't read the URL and realize that you're not at a legitimate website, but a clone of it.
Get Firefox. Once you get it, ask around and figure out how to download extensions. IGNORE THE STUPID PRETTY EXTENSIONS, I know it's hard, shiny stuff attracts you. Download "No-script" and "Ad-Block Plus". Make sure when they ask you to configure, you add a filter to adblock plus and set no-script to allow scripts from originating sites only.
Get a computer savvy friend, ask him/her questions. Have him/her teach you stuff. Like how to be smart.
Norton sucks. You aren't safe because you have an anti-virus program. Once you learn how to not suck, you will understand why.

I'm sorry if the above is difficult to understand for some, but as a PC user for my entire life it's simply second nature. It may be too hard for you to stop being so gullible. If so, you may want to take another route.

The Dreaded Solution: I hate this solution. Really. It's not that hard to do the above if you have some common sense, but if you find that it's too hard, this solution might be for you.

Buy lots of intrusive software that preys on your fear of viruses.
Find out that it doesn't work.
Ask for a professional to "fix" your computer
Claim you didn't do anything and that you're some unusual case that represents the symptoms of an idiot, but really you're not.
Pay the man.
Repeat the above steps until you get fed up and take another solution.
I know, I said not to do that, but the above was meant to be a sarcastic solution. Since everyone seems to think it works, when really it just makes you dumber and more dependant.

The Hopeless solution If you just can't seem to figure out what this "common sense" is, then this solution is for you. This is meant in no way to bash the users of the products I'm about to mention.

Pay a professional to get rid of your PC. You could get hurt doing it.
Pay a professional to reccomend a new computer to you. Make sure it runs a Mac or Linux operating system. The windows even have rounded edges so you won't hurt yourself on them.
Now you'll never get a virus again. You may get some adware similar to that on a PC, but don't worry Apple changed their name from "adware" to "widgets". This name changed their outlook on life. They won't ever get in your way.
PC is sorry it couldn't make things work out. It understands that you sacrified a lot, like gaming, just to get rid of ads. Maybe you'll learn to make good websites or code and have a great relationship with Linux or Mac. Chances are that you're too stupid to do that if you really had to get a new operating system to avoid viruses. Have fun with all of the pretty Apple tools that you could have gotten for free on PC but you didn't know how to.
You are now certifed to pretend like you know what you are talking about.

Keep in mind. Not all Mac/Linux users are users because they are stupid an try to avoid viruses. I would actually insist that almost NO Linux users are. Some people like it because it's "better", thats all perspective. All that matters to ye, of little mind is that it's simpler, if I explain why, your ears will bleed.

The Ultimate solution: If the above ALL fail... err... somehow.... Do this:

Open trash can
Place computer in trashcan
Wait until the trashman comes
Take trash can to trashman
Get in your car
Drive to a stationary store
Buy a pencil/pen and a tablet of paper.
Do everything you want on the paper
Welcome to the PAST!

I'm sorry that this tutorial was written with a condescending tone towards anyone who isn't computer savvy. Actually, I'm not sorry. The sarcasm helps me relieve the stress and anxiety that comes with knowing that a vast majority of idiots are in charge of the direction of the world. I am an elitist, maybe if you follow these steps you can chill with me and my elitist friends, but only if you're cool.

01-20-2008, 10:28 AM
Linux ftw.

And I disagree about the Firefox add-ons. I have 4 essential add-ons:

Ad-Block Plus
Forecast Fox

01-20-2008, 10:36 AM
Linux ftw.

And I disagree about the Firefox add-ons. I have 4 essential add-ons:

Ad-Block Plus
Forecast Fox
Shhh... some of those are too hard for their minds to comprehend.

Ad-Block Plus will prevent the shiny ads that they love to click from existing.
No-Script will stop XSS.

I currently have:
Web Developer
IE Tab
Grease Monkey

01-22-2008, 04:50 PM
DFSniper's list of must-have programs for pc maintenance.

I reccomend these programs from experience because they either make using your computer simpler, or protect it from harmful viruses/spyware/malware, etc.

The free stuff:
~HijackThis (http://www.whatthetech.com/hijackthis/) checks your registry for abnormalities. As it states in the guide in the link, not everything the program picks up is spyware-related, so I would reccomend this for more advanced users.
~Spybot Search and Destroy (http://www-spybotcom.com/) is a one-click spyware removal program.
~Ad-Aware (http://www.lavasoftusa.com/) is another good adware/spyware removal program. Its used in most school systems now.
~FreeRAM XP Pro (http://www.yourwaresolutions.com/) does exactly as the name implies, it frees up RAM on your PC, making your computer run more efficiently. I reccomend this to all gamers and heavy-duty processing users.
~ Avast! Anti-virus (http://www.avast.com/eng/download-avast-home.html) is a great anti-virus program.
~Bazooka Scanner (http://www.kephyr.com/spywarescanner/) is another one-click spyware and adware scanner.
~TweakNow RegCleaner (http://www.tweaknow.com/RegCleaner.html) fixes errors in your registry.

The not-so-free stuff:
~TuneUp Utilities ($50) (http://www.tune-up.com/products/tuneup-utilities/) is a fool-proof program that will do just about anything from cleaning your registry and hard drive to maximizing your internet connection to customizing your login screen and desktop.
~Spyware Doctor (around $30 I believe) (http://www.pctools.com/spyware-doctor/) is one of the leading spyware removal programs out there.

01-23-2008, 02:30 AM
Again, I use about half of those to achieve a perfectly clean computer... but the manner I use them in is a highly advanced system. I use the first 3 on that list, command prompt, and a Knoppix disk + fprot.

01-23-2008, 03:03 AM
Wanna keep a clean PC???

Don't connect to the Interwebz ;)

There is nothing you can do to prevent everything. Most of the things that get added to your PC are mostly harmless. Using the tools we have available help with the rest.

My FF Addons include:
Addblock Plus
Download Status Bar
Download Helper
Imageshack tool bar
IE Tab
PDF Download
WoW Status tool

But then again I am an Alpha tester so I use a lot of stuff :)