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Ace24
01-10-2008, 05:52 PM
She did speed today.



I'm beyond pissed that she told me she wouldn't then did it anyway.

"I was stressed, sad, and missed the feeling it gave me"

GOD DAMN IT!

newkid
01-10-2008, 05:53 PM
wow dude that really really sucks just pray she will stop

Hoppy11
01-10-2008, 05:56 PM
Sorry, but if the girl is dumb enough to do a drug like that.. she is probably not worth your time. Ok so yes I have smoked weed and I drink but those are a different story. Drugs like that can seriously **** up your health and get you in serious serious trouble with the law if screwing up your health is not a big enough reason to not do it..

So hike up and grow a pair.. girls suck. They will tear your heart out over and over until your find the right one and it could take awhile.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 05:57 PM
I asked her, "the real question is, what would you miss more? The drugs or me..."

I'm about to tell her to decide.

Hoppy11
01-10-2008, 05:59 PM
Its past her decision. You need to act for yourself.

durrell
01-10-2008, 06:00 PM
For real. It's time to get past this high school drama BS. It's the reason you feel the way you do and only you can change it.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 06:01 PM
I can't ignore how I feel about her...

HelpDeskHustler
01-10-2008, 06:02 PM
I'd dump her.

And for the reference, I was pretty sure she'd do drugs again, even if it meant lying to you. No matter who she is, if she does drugs, and promises she won't again with a straight face, no tears, it's a lie.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 06:04 PM
I'm going over there right now to talk to her.

Oh she's crying pretty hard right now. I'm just pissed.

Critical
01-10-2008, 06:05 PM
I don't mean to sound, well, mean, or that I'm preaching, but I think that you need to examine exactly what you're getting out of this relationship. If you seriously believe that she is "the one" for you, you need to find a way into her head, one way or the other, to get her to clean up. Otherwise, it's time to walk away as you have already admitted to a range of emotions that are far beyond what someone your age should be dealing with, including thoughts of suicide. If you are serious about her (and not just rescuing lost kittens, I've been there and know the feeling), I would suggest that you first speak to a professional counselor to deal with your own feelings and emotions. You will not be able to do anything for her until you figure yourself out first. Plus, they may be able to recommend ways that you can help her that will move her forward, or, may recommend that you bring her in.

Facts are facts, the long term effects of speed are bad, all caps, underlined, in bold. Random violence, reduced resistance to illness and disease, depression and psychosis, as well as inability to hold a job, monetary issues, legal issues, etc, are all some of what you have to look forward to unless she stops.

timmyshoota
01-10-2008, 06:10 PM
I can't ignore how I feel about her...

Then you're gonna be stuck with a druggie for the rest of your life. Man up and get out. Its a downward spiral that you're about to ride with her if you don't get out.

I just got out of a situation where I said the same thing, that I can't ignore how I feel about her. And I still still feel very strongly about her, but without her making some changes on her own, nothing can happen between us. I thought I could change her, and I did make some positive changes in her life, but the biggest ones she has to make on her own.

timmyshoota
01-10-2008, 06:11 PM
I'm going over there right now to talk to her.

Oh she's crying pretty hard right now. I'm just pissed.

Bad idea.

Hossy
01-10-2008, 06:15 PM
critical good post.

Man up Ted. Get the heck away from this girl, and wait awhile to find someone you really think you should be with, not all of this flatterization junk.

HelpDeskHustler
01-10-2008, 06:16 PM
Bad idea.
Troof. Don't stay with her, she'll learn that her ****tardery comes with consequences. seriously, it's better for both of you if you just tell her you don't like what drugs are doing to her, and since she clearly cares more about the drugs, you don't want to talk to her again until she's clean.

battlechaser
01-10-2008, 07:10 PM
Sadly, it looks like this might be the only way to get her to realize the path she's headed down in life. I feel for you man, I really do, it's a **** decision.

But I have to agree with the boys on this one.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:04 PM
I went over... and well... we both cried and... nothing happened. Well in the aspect of talking to her about it like I wanted to do...


I mean something else happened... which I can't talk about on these forums... but... UGH! Why is it when you want to talk about something, you can't do it. I'm not going to talk to her about something serious like this on the phone.

durrell
01-10-2008, 08:15 PM
Oh I'm sure that "something" did a lot of good if it's what I'm thinking of.

You're destined for a horrible relationship and possibly a horrible heartbreak when she OD's on the drugs she's doing. You either need to man up or shut up, it's as simple as that.

Sorry if it seems harsh, but you can't cry over something that YOU have the power to change. I'll be praying for you both.

Consider that tough love from Doc.

timmyshoota
01-10-2008, 08:17 PM
Bad idea.

..

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:26 PM
So I should tell her to decide... drugs or me. She can't have both... and if she wants to continue her destructive life style, that I can't be part of it?

marvin-martian
01-10-2008, 08:29 PM
So I should tell her to decide... drugs or me. She can't have both... and if she wants to continue her destructive life style, that I can't be part of it?
no. shes already made that choice.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:32 PM
C'mon Ted. From what I've seen, you are a strong guy. You cant let her addiction get to you. Get away from her. Hell I was in arelatonship with a girl who I liked alot nd only person I want to be with [still having the feelings as I type] but I had to put my feelings aside and see what it was worth. It wasnt worth much since she kept dumping me for stupid reasons. Last time she tried to come back, I tried my hardest to resist.

I suggest taking sometime away from her. I'm against druggies. Its not the drug, its the people who use them. They get so retarded and act like they're cool. Annoys the hell out of me. So what you should do is just get out of it now before something bad happens.

Hoppy11
01-10-2008, 08:32 PM
no. shes already made that choice.


You HAVE to decide now. Like we have all said she has choosen her path, you have tried to make her stop and she still does it.. choice made. You need to step up and I know it hurts but you need to get away, there are more girls.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:34 PM
I didn't tell her I'd leave her if she didn't stop though.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:35 PM
You should. If she doesnt stop when you say that, then she obviously doesnt have the same feelings you do.

and my keyboard sucks. sorry that was OT.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:39 PM
I will...

I'll see her again on Sat morning. I'll talk to her then.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:41 PM
Sit her down, lay down the law. By that I mean write all her rights down and make her say them. :dodgy:

But seriously, do something now before it gets worse.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:42 PM
Yeah... I know.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:44 PM
Doesnt show like you know. I'm sure you do, but you dont seem want to commit to breaking it off [ironic huh?]. Seems to me you want things to stay how they are just because you want her.

But seriously...talking wont help. Its all a matter of force, now..especially if she lies about it.

marvin-martian
01-10-2008, 08:46 PM
and make damn sure that "something" doesnt get in the way of talking to her this time.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:49 PM
Yeah... lol.

That something wont happen.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:50 PM
Oh god. I think I just figured out what that something was. Or maybe my mind was in the wrong place. Better left unsaid. Amen.

Hope goes well for you Ted. whatever you choose to do with it, hope you make the best decision.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 08:57 PM
Your mind... should be in the wrong place... >.<


Yeah... ugh.

The Pumper
01-10-2008, 08:59 PM
its ok ted
i support intercourse :D

Ace24
01-10-2008, 09:06 PM
I wish that could be her "de-stressor" ugh. I just can't figure out why it can't be pot...


I know a lot of kids that do pot to de-stress... this is major.

timmyshoota
01-10-2008, 09:20 PM
If she needs drugs to relieve stress, there's something deeper wrong. I get stressed out everyday, and haven't touched drugs in over 2 years, and hardly ever drink.

I don't think you've realized still, that its YOU that has to make a decision, not her. Everyone has been trying to make that clear, but it doesn't seem like you get it. YOU need to make a decision on whats best for YOU. Right now, she doesn't fit into whats best for you.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 09:27 PM
My life is a failure... can't really get much worse anyways.

Only other thing that could happen is that I lose my job. Then, I'll be a complete failure. (I've never touched drugs.. never will... sister is PERMINATLEY ****ed up from them so it hits home.)

pbfreak555
01-10-2008, 09:50 PM
My life is a failure... can't really get much worse anyways.

Only other thing that could happen is that I lose my job. Then, I'll be a complete failure. (I've never touched drugs.. never will... sister is PERMINATLEY ****ed up from them so it hits home.)

you aren't a failure. you being with her makes you LOOK LIKE a failure. i know it's hard to break off a relationship with the snap of your fingers, but it's the best thing to do for you. she won't stop. trust me man, there are TONS of other girls out there. make the decision for YOURSELF and don't let her decide. she will keep telling you that she will stop just to get you back but she wont stop. ive had a relationship sort of like this before so i know what's going on man. good luck dude it's hard but trust me.. if you break it off now you wont regret it in the future. you will look back at this and say... "what the **** was i thinking?"

Ace24
01-10-2008, 09:53 PM
She's not the reason I say I'm a failure.

I don't feel like typing it all, but I fail at life in general.

Ace24
01-10-2008, 10:19 PM
God damn it. Alright, everyone on here is going to hear my life story and I don't give a flying **** what you think.

At 6 I saw my father get laid off of a job where he would have been able to retire (in 3 months) with the full package. This lead him to abuse me physically (and he still does hit me from time to time) and verbally (same). He and my mother always got in fights. I saw them and heard them all. Chairs got broken, exct. I developed 9 hour leg spasms from the stress and was crippled for a long period of time. I couldn't walk from the stress in the house and my dad thought I was faking it. He thought it so much that he picked me up once, kneed me in the back and tossed my little body onto the stairs and told me to move.

I've never once heard a heart felt "I love you son" from him. Nore do I care to hear it anymore.

I grew up under weight. The skinny kid who was always picked on, who had a really big heart and who always cared about others. I cared about others so much that it would get me beat up. I went through elementary school with little problem... a bully here and there... but it basically stayed just getting punched from time to time. Then middle school hit.

I was robbed 5 times, assulted 3 times, thrown down a entire flight of concrete stairs, and when I reported it, I was threatened to be shot (yay for innercity schools).

My parents pulled me out of that school and sent me to Rochester Christian School (best decision they ever made for me). I passed and moved on, making some of my best friends in that school. To this day, they've supported me and been by my side.
Then I moved on to high school. There I saw 7 fights within the first day. One kid got his head split open right in front of me. This scared me and brought back bad memories of the middle school. I couldn't stop shaking and I was terrified (being a freshman and weighing around 98 lbs, being a little white boy in a school of mostly black kids that treated you like an outsider and a target to pick on. Of the 5000 students, there was about 10% white.) of going back.

Parents pulled me out of that school and did what they could with our limited money. Set me up with an IEP for depression anxiety and put me in B.O.C.E.S. I did a year there fine. Passed. Then at that point (sophomore year) one of my best friends committed suicide. I couldn't go back to school for a year, slept days and was up nights and was more depressed then ever. I tried going back and from then till now still can't sleep. I can't make it to school either and am on the verge of dropping out/G.E.D. and recently found out that I can take college courses while finishing my high school credits at the college campus. (Which I'm going to do)

Now thats the schooling somewhat summed up... now for some more great ****. I tried commiting suicide at the age of 15. I took a gun, put it to my head and my best female friend called me up BAWLING (she never cried. Never in the year that I knew her had I seen her cry or even get teary eyed). I hung up with her and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The gun jammed. I then called her back crying and she made me promise her that I'd never do it again. That I'd never try again. I didn't, and I have never acted on wanting to die since. Yet I still do want to die... but knowing how much I'd be missed, and that feeling that God as a purpose for me on this planet is keeping me here.

My relationships have been nothing but tragedy. I've been used, cheated on, controlled, humiliated, and talked down by most of my ex's. One even tried to get me to get rid of my best female friend (the one that made me promise).

There is more, but I don't feel like typing my more personal stuff, and my hand is starting to cramp.

Basically, what she's been through... I know what it's like. I've seen my sister destroy herself and I don't want to see that in her. Since I've been through a lot of the same stuff she has, I can give her advice and help her through it.

For an 18 year old... I've seen in my lifetime and experienced more pain and hardships then a lot of people in their 30's have. (and I don't care how selfish that sounds)

I do, however, want to thank everyone for the advice.

Moe
01-10-2008, 10:32 PM
Being 'mad' at her isn't going to help. I have been in her situation and have talked with others who were in that position. Being mad never helps, only builds up walls. For me at least.


Be nice moe... <3 TRB

pbfreak555
01-10-2008, 10:35 PM
that's horrible man. im sorry to hear all that. it's never too late to start over. you are still young

Ace24
01-10-2008, 10:39 PM
I'm not really mad at her anymore... just saddened.

bigred76
01-11-2008, 12:54 AM
Don't listen to Moe, just look at his post count! :eek:

I talked to you on AIM, but I'll say it here: I'm here for you. You need someone to talk to, need someone to tell you you're an idiot, need someone to pray for you... I'm here. Keep your head high, and keep walking forward. It's the only thing you can do other than balling up and going absolutely nowhere.

Peace be upon you,
-Tim

Critical
01-11-2008, 06:42 AM
Ace, I don't know you, or anything about you other than what you have posted on this forum. However, I would like to be so bold as to offer an outsiders perspective.

You look at your life and see the failures of others, and make them your own.

You had to live through abusive parents, but you did not commit the abuse. Your sister messed herself up, but you did not give her the means to do so. Your schooling was often miserable, and dangerous, and worthless (and I'm probably just touching the surface), yet here you are, articulate, good grammer and vocabulary. You've had thoughts of suicide, and have even gone so far as to make the attempt, yet you recognize that you were spared for a reason. You have become so used to being miserable that, subconsciously, you seek out damaged people to have relationships with, to either say, "my life is worse than yours", or, "my life is so much better than yours," either way, you're setting yourself up for misery.

You say that your life is nothing but failures. What I see, from your posts, is someone who is creative, artistic, intelligent, athletic, good with fixing things, and has an interesting sense of humor. I see someone who is outgoing, quick to make friends, slow to take offence and thoughtful about what they say about others in public.

What is holding you back is you. Until you break yourself out of the cycle, yes, you will be miserable. And, moreover, you will probably end up either a junkie or dead by your own hands within 2-3 years unless you change. You cannot change any of the terrible things that have happened to you. What you can do is turn them into triumphs. Volunteer at a shelter or church as a counselor for young children who are going through the same thing you did. Spend your time improving yourself, instead of making yourself miserable. Get that diploma or GED, take those college credits, get a better job, or jobs. Stop waiting for your world to end and go out and find your own successes.

/rant
(and you thought Vike wrote long posts!)

timbertiger20
01-11-2008, 06:59 AM
Maybe it's just me but I've dealt with alot of drug users. Getting them to stop cold turkey isn't even really an option. If that's what you all thought was going to happen well it never was. I have also seen alot of people eventually get off of the drugs..........eventually! Is she in NA or has she been to any kind of rehab? Also chances are she needs some counseling........as do you! If you really love the girl which at 18 it always seems like you do.........get her some help! Some people are much more susceptible to addiction than others and realize that in her mind it seems to fix something. That ""fix" needs to come from another place and a counselor would be more apt to teaching her to cope!

Good luck and God Bless!

xsvly-fat
01-11-2008, 09:38 AM
im sorry to hear about that i'll be praying for you both

STRIKEFIRST
01-11-2008, 04:28 PM
I can relate to your life. From experience you need to wake up everyday and tell yourself what happened to you when you were younger isn't your fault.

Every time you start to drift back to the garbage in your past tell yourself it isn't your fault.

Every night before bed tell yourself it wasn't and isn't your fault.

After a period of time (which is different for each of us who have severely messed up child and young adulthoods) you actually come to the realization that damn...it isn't my fault. A weight will be lifted and you will be able to deal with the past and start laying your haunts to rest and not just bury them deep inside.

I had a firend kill himself in 9th grade...that is something slightly different. I'll tell you this...you may not ever understand why and you will always wonder what if...but you couldn't have probably changed the outcome...when you miss your friend...talk to him...he's there and one day you'll see him again.

Just remember...you are not alone.

And Ace...It's not your fault.

Chris

colonel_moo
01-11-2008, 07:31 PM
to be honest, if she can't quit for you, i don't think its worth your time. when it comes to drugs for me, there are no second chances, i think you've given her too many chances to clean up and she still won't.

marvin-martian
01-11-2008, 08:23 PM
Very funny...

MR2 Woodsballer
01-11-2008, 10:20 PM
Very funny...

Whats funny? Am I missing something?

Ace24
01-11-2008, 11:59 PM
Ace, I don't know you, or anything about you other than what you have posted on this forum. However, I would like to be so bold as to offer an outsiders perspective.

You look at your life and see the failures of others, and make them your own.

You had to live through abusive parents, but you did not commit the abuse. Your sister messed herself up, but you did not give her the means to do so. Your schooling was often miserable, and dangerous, and worthless (and I'm probably just touching the surface), yet here you are, articulate, good grammer and vocabulary. You've had thoughts of suicide, and have even gone so far as to make the attempt, yet you recognize that you were spared for a reason. You have become so used to being miserable that, subconsciously, you seek out damaged people to have relationships with, to either say, "my life is worse than yours", or, "my life is so much better than yours," either way, you're setting yourself up for misery.

You say that your life is nothing but failures. What I see, from your posts, is someone who is creative, artistic, intelligent, athletic, good with fixing things, and has an interesting sense of humor. I see someone who is outgoing, quick to make friends, slow to take offence and thoughtful about what they say about others in public.

What is holding you back is you. Until you break yourself out of the cycle, yes, you will be miserable. And, moreover, you will probably end up either a junkie or dead by your own hands within 2-3 years unless you change. You cannot change any of the terrible things that have happened to you. What you can do is turn them into triumphs. Volunteer at a shelter or church as a counselor for young children who are going through the same thing you did. Spend your time improving yourself, instead of making yourself miserable. Get that diploma or GED, take those college credits, get a better job, or jobs. Stop waiting for your world to end and go out and find your own successes.

/rant
(and you thought Vike wrote long posts!)
You, sir, are very good at figuring people out. Holy cow. I was reading through that and I can't believe you could deduce from just my posts, exactly the kind of person I am. Wow.

I talked to her today about it. I said to her, "I cannot be with you if you're going to do drugs. You have to choose. The drugs or me."

She then held me as tight as she could and said, immediately after I finished speaking, "Thats an easy decision. I won't let something as stupid as drugs destroy our relationship."

On a weird, sort of interesting note - last night, I went to sleep alone, with nothing in my arms. I woke up with the stuffed animal she gave me in my arms.
Now that stuffed animal was about a foot to two feet away from my bed when I went to sleep. I don't remember waking up in the night to grab it... so I figure it's a sign. (Or I'm just creative in the imagination and like to think it is.)

newkid
01-12-2008, 06:21 AM
after reading the last couple pages, I dont know what to say except, I hope the best for you and you're in my prayers

Critical
01-12-2008, 08:04 AM
You, sir, are very good at figuring people out. Holy cow. I was reading through that and I can't believe you could deduce from just my posts, exactly the kind of person I am. Wow.

It's a gift, and a curse, never tried over the internet before though.

I talked to her today about it. I said to her, "I cannot be with you if you're going to do drugs. You have to choose. The drugs or me."

She then held me as tight as she could and said, immediately after I finished speaking, "Thats an easy decision. I won't let something as stupid as drugs destroy our relationship."

I'm glad that she made the right decision. Now, and I mean right now, work with her to decide on what professional support she is going to get. NA is a good one (from what I've heard), and I'm sure there are free community based groups. If she has a doctor, they would be a good resource, and, they have doctor/patient confidentiality so she will not have to worry about things coming out. Also, the doctor may be able to provide medical support. It is important to get support of some kind though, if she doesn't, chances are extremely high that she will relapse.

On a weird, sort of interesting note - last night, I went to sleep alone, with nothing in my arms. I woke up with the stuffed animal she gave me in my arms.
Now that stuffed animal was about a foot to two feet away from my bed when I went to sleep. I don't remember waking up in the night to grab it... so I figure it's a sign. (Or I'm just creative in the imagination and like to think it is.)

Teddy bears know when their people need them. :p

timbertiger20
01-12-2008, 08:25 AM
Find a good church that has a good Narcotics program and I'd highly suggest that you go with her both to the meetings and to church. Just had a cousin and his wife who were total meth heads. Now being in Lae Enforcement I know that Meth has a 98% addiction rate...............I also know that my cousin is the last person I ever thought would be able to stop it. Funny thing is he and his wife have both been clean for well over a year. But he has lots of friends in the church that replaced his previous friends. He seems to be very happy and totally drug free! Good thing.....because it was only a day ot two away from losing all 5 of their kids!

SpyderMan231
01-12-2008, 08:46 AM
read this book.

"The Alchemist" by Paul Cohelo

DFSniper
01-13-2008, 06:24 PM
its been a while since ive been on here (a while for me at least), and it was because i ****ed up again (big surprise there) and had to deal with the consequences. i may not have been through all the **** that you went through, but i can relate because i went through a good part of it. i've felt like the biggest loser ever for the better part of a year now, so i know how it feels to fail at life. all through out school, i was the outcast nerdy kid that everyone picked on. although i've never been to a shrink (and the school counselors didnt solve anything) i realized that all the crap i went through made me a very emotional person (i could go into more detail but i dont think i have the time). when you describe how you love her, i believe you, because i feel the same for my close friends (never had much luck in the g/f department, and the one g/f i had is now one of my closest friends). for the most part, i hate people who smoke, do drugs, and drink excessively. so it kills me when we go to a party at 3AM and i see people get wasted. and when my friend tells me about the last time he smoked the occasional weed, it drives me nuts inside, but i dont say anything because i just dont wanna go there...

as much as i agree with you, the time has come. if she doesnt stay clean, its really time for you to move on until she seriously does. the way i see it, this is strike two. some will come here and say that you shouldnt give drugs the "three strikes" option, but all im going to say is, dont let there be a strike three.

if you ever want to talk, i'll be on AIM again as soon as i can get my wireless back up.

Ace24
01-14-2008, 04:07 PM
She said she'll stop doing Speed, but she wants to take Adderal or Ritalin now to cope with the stress. Says she needs something that works fast when she's bugging out from stress and ****...

I mean honestly, I'd rather her take one of those then Speed. Thats a given... but what other things can she do to relieve stress. I know there are others out there... and I've told her some:
Exercise
Sex
Breathing Techniques
Even videogaming with friends

I honestly think she's just lazy.

Any suggestions on stuff I can tell her to help her with the stress? I think one of her biggest fears is that if she goes to any professionals, that she'll get put in jail or her parents will get told.

I told her the other day that I was praying for her really hard... and she appreciated it.. a lot. Yet she's not religious. Idk.

I don't want to hear break up with her. I'm not doing that.

timmyshoota
01-14-2008, 04:22 PM
Drug abuse is drug abuse no matter what drug it is. You not being willing to break up with her, is gonna turn into a problem. You're gonna make yourself stuck to her and her problem. Sometimes, you have to learn to let go. You may not want to, but sometimes its best.

From Heather Headley's song "In My Mind":

They say if you love something, you’ve got to let it go.
And if it comes back, then it means so much more.
But if it never does,then at least you will know,
That it was something you had to go through to grow.

Critical
01-14-2008, 04:23 PM
First off, is she under 18 or over, if she's over 18, they can't say squat without her consent. If she's under 18, and still living at home, chances are the parents know that she's in trouble, if not exactly what she's doing, this might be a good time for her to trust her parents. Second, going through recovery is going to be hell. A doctor may be able to recommend groups or organizations that he/she is familiar with that you may never have thought of. Also, if it gets really bad, having her doctor in the loop means that he/she may be able to prescribe medication to combat the addiction/ease the cravings, instead of substituting another drug, which would be bad.

fatkidfrompbaz
01-14-2008, 04:39 PM
rehab?

Ace24
01-14-2008, 04:50 PM
Drug abuse is drug abuse no matter what drug it is. You not being willing to break up with her, is gonna turn into a problem. You're gonna make yourself stuck to her and her problem. Sometimes, you have to learn to let go. You may not want to, but sometimes its best.

From Heather Headley's song "In My Mind":

They say if you love something, you’ve got to let it go.
And if it comes back, then it means so much more.
But if it never does,then at least you will know,
That it was something you had to go through to grow.

Tis a good song.

battlechaser
01-14-2008, 07:11 PM
Shoota's right, I really don't think replacing one drug for another is going to help her in the long run. You're a good guy, and you're definitely committed to help her through this.

This is nothing more than a test, and every horrifying moment you've lived and will live through anything like this is just going to strengthen you later on, and probably motivate you to be a better person. I honestly believe everything I've been through has been what's helped me reshape who I am. Just keep the idea of who and what you want to be later on in life in your mind, and convince her to do the same.


Anyways, this is starting to sound far too much like a lecture for my liking... you know where to find me if you need to talk.

(BTW Cold is a great band to listen to when in that sort of mood... for me anyways, it turn the depression which for me is useless, into anger, which can me funnelled into mowing faces.. ;))