View Full Version : not good...
12-10-2007, 05:58 AM
I've been having some problems with my girlfriend. A few years ago, her grandpa passed away. They were really close. since i've known her (about 1 year) she has talked to my about suicide several times. She gets very emotional when she talks about him, and almost cried last night on the phone when something one of us said reminded her of him. She says that there's only 2 other people that meanthat much to her. Me and her best friend. Once, before i knew her, she thought about suicide, but one of her friends saved her. I just need some help on what to tell her when she mentions it. (she hasn't mentioned suicide lately, so that's a good thing)
12-10-2007, 11:48 AM
I can relate to this... considering I have a bi-polar, depressive, multi-personality girlfriend. (Not saying yours is that way, just mine gets suicidal and I've had suicidal ones in the past. I have also been witness to a friend committing suicide as well as been so close to doing it, I pulled the trigger on myself[how I am still here is God's grace... IM/PM me if you want more info])
My best female friend made me promise her that I would never commit suicide. I don't break my promises to my loved ones. So I've never acted apon it again. I've felt like doing it, but I haven't.
Make her promise you that she wont. Tell her that you love her. Remind her of how all her family, friends and especially you, would hurt if she did commit suicide. When Rika (my gf) told me she wanted to die, I told her that if she did kill herself, that I would be soon to follow. That my best friend would kill himself because I did, and it would start a chain reaction of pain, suffering, and suicide. (this isn't always good. If you don't understand how the person would react, this might not work out for the best, but make them more depressed.)
Be there for her as much as you can.
I can't think of anything more at this point... but like I said before, reminding her of how much she is loved always helps.
She's eventually got to accept that hes gone and let it go. Death is a hard thing to forget... I still tear up when I think about my friend that took her life. It took me a year to get over it, and the fact that I could have saved her.
Keep in mind that usually the ones that talk about committing suicide are the ones that are less likely to do it. Why? They are reaching out for help. The ones you really have to worry about are the ones that are quiet about it. :cry:
12-10-2007, 12:23 PM
I agree but my Bro did talk about it alot. The best thing is just make sure they know that they're loved. Sometimes I wonder if he eventually did it because he thought maybe he was holding me back. I'll never know but I've come to the realization that he's where he wanted to be now. I don't condone it but I have to live with it. Just love and try to keep the idea of death out of the picture, which is hard to do these days. The more reminders of death that are there than the more they seem to think about it.
12-10-2007, 12:42 PM
thanks guys, like i said, she hasnt talked about it lately, which is very good, but i know that it will eventually come up again someday. We just finished a suicide unhit in health class and that's what brought me to remember this.
12-10-2007, 05:18 PM
That's good to hear. I do want to point out that, at least in my case, it was the calm before the storm kind of scenario. We all thought we had him feeling better about life and everything than one night he didn't show up at the normal place, than the next night, and the next we started a city-wide search. Next morning we found him in the obituaries. Don't want to bring you down, just want you to know that the threat could possibly still be there so keep your eyes and ears open for her. I hope it's all good for you though.
12-11-2007, 04:20 PM
if it starts to get bad, i'm gonna give her this number that we learned in health class (suicide hotline). My teacher said that it's really helpful. She mentioned him yesterday, and how pathetic she feels because she feels that she should be over it now (after 3 years). I just told her that it's ok and i understand that it's a really hard thing to get over, losing someone that close to you. I do tell her that i love her alot, which i think is helping. She hasn't mentioned 'suicide' in a while, but her grandpa has come up in 3 straight phone calls.