View Full Version : Long Distance Relationship

07-23-2007, 04:59 PM
Well, me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a year now and we're both going off to college this fall (well, end of summer, i leave august 18th... conveniently the day after her birthday and her best friend is going to tennessee (we live in mass) for school the same day :( ). we've talked about it alot and we've decided to give long distance a try. i'm making this thread to ask if anybody has any advice to make this sort of thing work. i've already talked to my parents (they endured a long distance relationship during college as well) but its kind of akward to talk to them about it for some reason and they havent really given me any good advice.

i know theres alot of people on here that are older than me and more experienced with this sort of thing, so im just wondering if anyone has any bits of wisdom they can share that can make this whole thing a little easier. deep down i know theres plenty of people who have tried this and failed but theres no way in hell thats going to stop me from trying.

i have a ring that she gave me before we even started going out. i plan to get a chain and wear it around my neck pretty much all the time just to remind me of her. its things like this im looking for... little ways to make sure we dont drift apart too much when we are physically apart. do you guys have any ideas like this or any advice in general to give?

yes i realize that trying to stay together may not be the statistically the best idea. i know it has a good chance of failing and telling me this is a good way to get on my bad side; i am pretty sensitive when it comes to this issue. if your advice is 'just break up now' or anything similar, i ask that you please not post.

07-23-2007, 05:07 PM

Not really. How far is it going to be? I have a friend who dated a girl who went to college 2 hours away. Then that semester ended, and she moved to London and he saw her once in those 5 months. They're still going good. I'd say the secret is to just make sure you communicate well, that's what has been key in all successful long distance relationships I've seen. Make sure you make the effort to call her every night, send her nice IM's or e-mails. From the sound of it, you sound like you won't have a problem taking time out of the day to talk to her, so you're already off to a pretty good start if you ask me. And don't ever give her a reason NOT to trust you by doing something stupid. Keep everything out in the open and you should be fine. :) Good luck.

07-23-2007, 05:26 PM
I honestly wish I could give you advice, but to be downright honest, all of the long distance relationships I had (3 of them) broke up after a couple of months each.

College was expensive, and calling everyday wasn't an option, nor was going home or meeting halfway every weekend or everytime I felt lonely (which, in a long distance relationship is a lot!) Most we had was writing letter's back and forth. I actually broke up with one of them before Valentine's Day, but she didn't get the letter until that day (we'd been talking about it for awhile, and I said to myself, "To Hell with it. It's not worth the hassle.") Girls started looking prettier, hormones raged, too many parties - I belong to a Fraternity, so there were any number parties with any number of girls at any given time...I'm sure the same was happening on their end. It's the whole, untouchable, unattainable thing.

Of course, nowadays, you have cell phones, web cams and IM, so maybe it's easier to do. I'm definitey not suggesting yours won't work. Not at all - but prepare to work hard for it, and NEVER, EVER, EVER assume the other party in the relationship is working as hard as you or is naive - I learned this the very hard way, multiple times over.

Good luck!

VS3 Sniper
07-23-2007, 05:26 PM
I would sugest both of u get a webcam, don't drink because alchol can lead to poor decisions, write her daily, send packages to each other, talk on the phone, try to meet up half way or one of u visit the other. Thats about all I can think of right now.

07-23-2007, 10:04 PM
im not going to a party school (at all, drinking is actually pretty scarce) and guys outnumber girls 3:1, and to be perfectly honest, i saw maybe 3 attractive girls at orientation, so i dont think temptation would be that much of an issue. she is also going to a school without dorms (shes living in an apartment) so i hope she wont be tempted either. Durrell, to answer your question, i'll be in Troy NY (near Albany) and she will be in Boston. its about a 3.5 hour drive, not sure about the train ride.

we both have verizon with 'IN' calling, so long distance calling is not an issue at all. web cams is a good idea too. due to the apartment thing, its not a problem for me to go to boston and stay for the weekend (if i can find the time).

07-24-2007, 04:57 AM
Unlimited cell phone minutes and letters.

07-24-2007, 04:15 PM
3.5 and a half hours isn't that long of a drive. surpise her at least once a month with a weekend visit.

07-24-2007, 04:18 PM
3.5 and a half hours isn't that long of a drive. surpise her at least once a month with a weekend visit.
But always knock on the bedroom door first ;)

07-24-2007, 04:19 PM
But always knock on the bedroom door first ;)


07-24-2007, 07:17 PM
But always knock on the bedroom door first ;)
hopefully he won't have to...
sorry i can' t help girls aren't my forte and we'll leave it at that

07-24-2007, 07:23 PM
communication is key more than anything. I wish you two the best of luck.

07-24-2007, 08:03 PM
Brian: yes, 3.5 hour drive isnt bad, but when i don't have a car freshman year, it might be a problem. however, it might actually be better cause i can get work done on the train/bus.

big_daddy_d: thanks

and as for the rest of you... thanks... i guess? haha

Team Ramrod
07-25-2007, 01:05 PM
Ha, 3.5 hours. I'm in the same boat you are, we've been dating for over a year now and were going to school 22hours away, so seeing each other on a weekend maybe wont be an option. I'm going to try my best, and i hope she will to, but I'm also going to be realistic, that it may not work out. I still love her and everything, and don't want it to end, but if it happens to end that way I'm young and life will go on. I'm too young to be worried about that kind of stuff, pressure in my life i just don't need at this point.