View Full Version : More Darwinism!

Recon by Fire
01-30-2006, 06:55 PM
Saw this on another forum:

* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
Water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
Retrieve his car keys.

* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel
Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used
Their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
Caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he
won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with
Four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

HONORABLE MENTION: * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of
Dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP: * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several
Friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from
The Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation
grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
Volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end
of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to
the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
(Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200
pounds of poop!

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.

"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one
there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before
A watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems
to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "**** happens!"

01-30-2006, 07:00 PM
* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run

holy ****. ROFLMAO he ran off a dam cliff:roflmao: :doah:

01-30-2006, 07:34 PM
Actually, I've zoned while running before (not to the point of running off a cliff) and that's one of the few on this list I can actually believe happened. For some reason, several of these just seem too fake this year....

Pretty funny stuff, though!

Team Ramrod
01-30-2006, 07:35 PM
natural selection at its finest. and you gotta think, more than one of thoes cases had to be alcohol related.

01-30-2006, 08:17 PM
thats pretty sad

01-30-2006, 09:18 PM
all i can say is wow.

01-31-2006, 04:44 AM
too many elephant deaths where is the guy who got ***-****ed by the horse in washington, and died.

Recon by Fire
01-31-2006, 07:30 PM
Well it turns out the accuracy of those may subject to speculation. Either way, they are funny and people are stupid enough to make these events quite possible. :)

02-01-2006, 12:41 AM
I really LOVE when stupid people do stupid things to them self.
Stupid criminals are my favourite! :D

I'd say the only story I'm uncertain about is the one with the elephant.
All the others doesn't really surprise me.

02-01-2006, 12:18 PM
Wow, those were great.