View Full Version : Help, Please.
06-20-2007, 09:20 PM
I dont really know how to start this, so i guess ill just jump right in.
My best friend is unfortunately plagued by many mental and physical problems, most namely Bipolar and Sleep Apnea. Lately hes fallen deeper and deeper into depression. Over the few days I've had 3 long conversations about it (I mean several hours) and today he mentioned suicide. It didn't seem like he was actually considering it at this point, but he can't help but think about it. Before i go on, i should mention that he takes a handful of pills every day and he does regularly see a therapist. He's also on a CPAT machine for the sleep apnea but he says its impossible to sleep with the mask on (or at least keep it on all night).
I tried telling him he should try to get on some different bipolar medication because the stuff hes on obviously isnt working too well, but he says the feeling of being dependent on medication to stay sane is worse than the depression itself. I've tried reminding him of all the good things he has going on in his life, but it simply doesnt work. It just seems like every night hes more and more depressed. I think the simple fact that I'm talking to him about it helps a little, but its not enough.
My question to you guys is what can i do about this? what do i say to him or someone else? He's been my best friend for about 12 years, and i cant stand the thought of losing him. If you can't offer any advice, i ask that you please keep him in your prayers.
06-20-2007, 09:26 PM
Said a prayer.
Maybe you should tell more of his closer friends to talk to him about it. Kinda like peer pressure him out of thinking of it, and make the group of yall go do fun things that you used to do.
(and then not attack me in warfish :p)
06-20-2007, 09:32 PM
wow. sorry thats happening.. its hard to convince people otherwise when there in a state of depression. but your def doing the right thing talking to him. idk his age but im guessing hes out of his house. but if his parents have influence in his life then the best thing to do is let them know whats going on.
hope that helped atleast a little bit.
06-20-2007, 10:20 PM
Moo, I know how you feel. My sister is bipolar, I have a cousin and good friend who are both paranoid schizophrenic. Mental diseases are so hard to deal with because often times it is very hard to convince the person that they need more help.
First thing is, bipolar people cannot take most antidepressant medications, it makes them want to commit suicide. So I would check and see if he is on any antidepressants.
Second, I think at this point he really needs to have his meds reevaluated. Offer to go to the doctor with him or take him to the hospital, whatever it takes. Let him know that you will give up as much of your time as it takes to help him and support him. If he lives with his parents still, talk to them, maybe you can do a sort of intervention type thing. Maybe if everyone who loves and cares about him gets together and lets them know how they feel you can convince him to change his mind about the meds.
I know how it is to be dependent on meds, while it is not fun, its the only way I can get through the day. I know that without my meds, I would be dead, no questions asked.
I guess right now your biggest concern is going to get him to take meds and get on the right meds. You need to convince that its okay to take meds and if thats what it takes for him to get through the day, then so be it. Nobody will think any less of him and there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking medication. He really needs to understand that with them meds, he can feel much, much better.
to be honest, I'm not sure if there really is much more for you to do than what you are already doing. Being there, being a friend, and being available for help is pretty important. Maybe when you try and talk to him, try and keep him going in a positive direction, but I would think that's about as far as you can go. As much as I personally hate doctors, you ought to leave the 'dirty-work' to the professionals.
Do his parents know?
06-21-2007, 06:42 AM
Thanks for your responses and the support guys.
Hoss, he told me he actually gets more depressed when hes in a group of people. He said I was his only real friend, and he thinks that the other people in our 'group' seem insincere (I told him otherwise, but I'm not sure if he believes me). We also do alot of fun things together, we actually just got back from a week-long trip to my other friend's island in Maine. He just seems detached from the rest of the group, and often wanders off/stays home when we went on boat rides, etc.
Bomber - Sorry, i should have mentioned his age, but hes 18 and still at home with his mom (His dad also has Bipolar among other diseases, and is getting help at an institution now). I'm not sure if she knows or not. She obvioulsly knows he's been extremely depressed lately, but probably not to the extent. You're right, i probably should tell her.
Shunut - I'm not sure exactly what hes taking but I'm sure its not anything hes not supposed to be. He's been reevaluated several times since i've known him, and im sure the doctors are aware. Its probably hard to get him on meds that dont clash though, since he has so many other disorders that i havent even mentioned. When he gets reevaluated, he has to stay in a hospital for days being studied, and thats what he hates.
Thanks for your help, I'll try to push the meds thing more.
Maybe you are right leed, but i hate the idea that i cant do anything else.
06-21-2007, 07:19 AM
Well, you're a great friend to stick with this guy. Unfortunately, I don't have any real advice to give you, other than what the others said.
Keep your head up, and we'll support you as much as we can. Stick with him because in the end, it's the true friends that are most important in our lives, and I would dare say, especially to him and those with this condition.
06-21-2007, 07:20 AM
I'm not sure exactly what hes taking but I'm sure its not anything hes not supposed to be.
You would think that but thats not always the case. Even though my sister is bipolar one of her doctors put her on Prozac, which is a no, no. Within 3 days she was talking about killing herself. My doctor's son-in-law was also bipolar. His doctor put him on Zoloft, also another med bipolar patients shouldn't be on, he was able to carry out his threats and shot himself in the head, on of all days, Mother's Day. If there is anyway you could get a list of his meds, I'd be happy to help you research them. I spent a lot of time working in the medical field and as much as we don't want it to happen, doctors are human, so they do make mistakes.
I think more than anything convincing him that his life is worth more than he thinks and there are many, many people who would be devastated if he was gone, is the most important thing.. If you can get him to understand that, maybe it will be easier to convince him that the meds will help, as long as he gets on the right meds. If you need any help or would like to talk privately hit me up on AIM, shunut79. I know how hard it can be and his depression and problems will affect everyone around him. I wish you luck and just keep trying to help him, don't ever give up.